RS7- Calvin's Video Diaries
by 90TheGeneral09
Summary: The unreleased video diaries of Calvin Gabriel beginning during his freshman year in 1998 all the way to that fateful day of May 1st, 2001.
1. Chapter 1- January 7th, 1998

**Chapter 1: January 7** **th** **, 1998, 11:41PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This is the 7** **th** **deleted story in my Restoration Series list, all replacing works from the same user, who I am leaving anonymous. It was first uploaded on December 19, 2011 and deleted like all the others in (approximately) December 2016. At least, that's when I found out the stories were gone. Well, for a little while I was totally bummed- actually, I still am. But pretty soon I realized I could remember the titles and basic plots of 4, 5, and pretty soon all 8 of these deleted stories.**

 **And it gave me the idea- why not just take what I can remember, what I can recover, and just rewrite each of the deleted stories myself? I set up Word documents and started taking notes to that effect, and the 8-part Zero Day Restoration Series was born. Each one of the stories in this series has involved hours of work. Rebuilding and rewriting a deleted story that you have no original copy of is hard, way harder than just writing an all-new story on your own. Ultimately I was able to recover about 4,251 words from the original story; since it was 12,799 words total last time around, I recovered something like 1/4** **th** **of the original story.**

 **This story, as you can tell from the description, was originally meant to be more than 24 chapters and go beyond the final entry date of April 22, 2000. Since the story was up on this site for about 5 years and was never written past Chapter 24, I have decided to rewrite it through to Chapter 24 and leave it there. Out of the 8 deleted stories, this was the best. I'm glad to have begun the process of bringing it back.**

 **Warning: Mentions of depression and suicide (and later plans to kill a bunch of people, of course).**

* * *

The camera shook slightly as it was turned on and Calvin moved away from it, sitting back on his bed. His blue eyes shone with the _glare_ of the camera, but he didn't make any move to speak just yet, instead opting to continue to sit on his bed. Calvin stayed that way for one minute. His lips parted as he moved to speak and then his brow furrowed and he closed his mouth again. For several seconds Calvin stayed silent, and then he started to speak.

"Somehow I almost believed people when they say that high school is supposed to be the best years of your life. I think maybe I did believe them at one point, but, if I did, it wasn't for that long. I've always felt like I can see through people's bullshit and- yeah, high school being that great? Is some bullshit if I ever heard any. I wanna burn the place down. I hate it there."

The blond teen sat up and started to move a hand toward the camera, maybe thinking of adjusting how it was positioned or even turning it off, but then he looked away from the camera and instead looked up at the ceiling of his bedroom, leaning back on his hands a bit.

"I'll say it again: I hate high school." He sat there for several seconds, thinking. "Andre agrees I think, but we don't really talk about it. We're good friends but we did only meet in September so we don't really talk about things so serious- most of the time." Another pause, this one lasting half a minute. "That isn't something you just talk to somebody about, hating high school. You're supposed to… like it. Go to football games. Go to the Prom. Give a shit about school spirit. It's… it's bad enough if you don't do those things, but when you fantasize about seeing the place burn down sometimes… yeah. You don't just share that with anybody."

The boy ran his hands through his blond hair, sighing slightly as he stared into the lens of the video camera. "I guess Andre might agree if I told him. Maybe I should. I might. I dunno. I think he might turn out to be a really good friend, but, I've thought that before." Calvin shot a wry, slightly bitter grin at the camera. "Serves me right for wanting to trust people, huh?"

Looking off in a direction, Calvin tapped the palms of his hands against his thighs and drew in a breath and let it out slowly. He appeared anxious and looked past the camera toward his door, as if checking to make sure he had no uninvited listeners.

"I thought about killing myself the other day, but I chickened out. I got my belt and set it up on the bar in my closet, the one all the coat hangers go on, you know. Stuck my neck through it, but I had to kick the chair out from under me. Instead I just stood there and eventually took my neck out and took the belt down and went to bed." He paused again. "I don't know… whether to be glad or disappointed in myself for not having the balls."

Another pause, this one lasting a minute and a half.

"I've thought about why I didn't do it, and I think I know what it is. I didn't want to kill myself like everybody else does. I didn't want to just die like everybody else goes and dies."

Calvin fell silent yet again, staring at the floor of his room, arms resting on his thighs. He sighed, his shoulders slumping visibly. "I'm so not into this, I swear. Sometimes it's like I think I'm going somewhere, or I'm about to go somewhere, whether I want to or not." He sighed. "I don't know to where, but the feeling is familiar. I've been feeling like this for years- especially once I started middle school. I don't want to say I feel like I'm falling into some pit of darkness and nothing but it… I don't know how else to say it. Sometimes I just feel like I don't care if I live or die or what."

The blond stared up at the ceiling, shrugging. "But I guess that's not really true either. I mean, I get up every day, I take care of myself. Everybody around me thinks I'm fine. I can act like it. I just don't feel like it underneath."

Calvin shifted his gaze, looking directly into the camera lens.

"Know what I mean?"

The blond stared into the lens for a couple of moments, almost as if expecting an answer. After a few seconds he nodded, as if response to some reply that only he could hear, then reached toward the camera and turned it off.

* * *

 **A/N: Below I have all of the words I was able to recover for Chapter 1 from the original story. I have woven all of it into my Chapter 1 for this reconstituted story, doing as much as possible to bring it back as it was.**

* * *

 **A/N: These are supposed to be "video diaries" of Calvin because I'm curious about the boy who is shown as quiet and shy until the** _ **last**_ **15 minutes when he's taunting his victims and what exactly was the cause of that to be released.**

 **Warnings: Mentions of** _ **depression**_ **and suicide (and later plans to kill a bunch of people, of course)**

 **His blue eyes shone with the** _ **glare**_ **of the camera, but he didn't make any move to speak just yet, instead opting to continue to sit on his bed.**

 **His lips parted as he moved to speak and then his brows furrowed, closing his mouth.**

 **Somehow I almost believed people when they say that high** _ **school**_ **is**supposed to be the best years of** _ **your**_ **life.**

 **Blue eyes** _ **opened**_ **and he lowered his head to once again stare into the camera lens ...**

 _ **Calvin shot**_ **a wry, slightly bitter grin at the camera.**

 **The camera shook slightly as it was** _ **turned**_ **on and** _ **Calvin**_ **moved away from it, sitting back on his bed.**

 **looked away from the camera and instead looked** _ **up**_ **at the ceiling of his bedroom, leaning back on his hands a bit.**

" **But I guess that's not really true either.**

 **"Andre agrees I think, but we** _ **don't**_ **really talk about it.**

 **We're good friends but we** _ **did**_ **only meet in September so we don't really**talk about things so serious- most of the time.**

 **The boy ran his hands through his blond hair, sighing slightly as he stared into the** _ **lens**_ **of the video** _ **camera**_ **.**

 **Looking** _ **off**_ **in a direction,** _ **Calvin**_ **tapped the palms of his hands against his thighs**

 **"I** _ **thought**_ **about killing myself the other day, but I chickened out.**

 **I didn't want to just kill myself** _ **like**_ **everybody else does.**

 **"I don't** _ **know**_ **to where, but this feeling is familiar. I've been feeling**like this for years—especially once I started middle school.**

 **I don't want to say I** _ **feel**_ **like I'm falling into some pit of darkness and nothing but it ...**

" **Know what I mean?"**

 **The blond stared into the lens for a couple of moments, almost as** _ **if expecting an answer.**_


	2. Chapter 2- February 14th, 1998

**Chapter 2: February 14** **th** **, 1998, 7:35PM**

* * *

The camera was turned on and Calvin straightened it before pulling back, leaning against an arranged set of pillows behind him.

"Okay…" he began, looking at the camera. "Valentine's Day today; I got a total of one Valentine's card."

The blond held up a red card, looking at it for a few moments. "From my friend Rachel; I've known her for about a year now." Calvin nodded to himself, setting it aside.

"I guess it's better than Andre though. Andre didn't even get one card. He doesn't really care 'cause V-day is stupid, but… still… it really sucks that he didn't even get one. I think maybe deep down Andre wishes he did, because, I don't know, maybe it would mean someone was interested in him or something."

Calvin paused, thinking in silence for a few moments.

"He wasn't happy that the one card I got was from Rachel. Andre- when he gets mad, he gets really fucking mad. When he found out who my card was from, he ranted about it for twenty minutes until lunch was over. First thing Andre said was, 'That bitch gave you a fucking card?'"

The blond gestured with his hands as he talked. "No way was it a coincidence how Rachel gave me the card. She came up to me between classes at a time when she knows Andre's on the other side of the building coming from Biology. I'm sure she timed it. Whenever Andre shows up, she kind of- she just scuttles off. I don't mean- well, she leaves. Quick. Andre, he doesn't go away as easy, because he knows Rachel doesn't like to come up to talk to me when he's nearby. So sometimes he sticks around on purpose."

Calvin shrugged. "It kind of sucks that my two best friends don't really get along but there's not much I can do about it. Rachel just says Andre's mean and Andre just gets mad and rants about stuff when I ask him about Rachel. Neither of them wants to talk to or talk about working something out with the other. They just don't get along. That's how it is. I can't change that."

The blond teenager picked up the red card again, looking at it. "I'm not gay, but- look, I think Andre's a good-looking guy." He looked at the camera, giving a guilty smile. "Good thing I'm at home and not at my high school, right?" He sighed. "Jesus, they'd kill me for a remark like that there. Well, Andre's not ugly, I don't care what anybody says. He's just, you know, he's fine if you ask me. Okay, sure. But none of the girls really like him. They just don't. And he knows they don't and that's another thing he's mad about. The only girl who really likes me is Rachel and I don't think she likes me in that way and even if she did… I don't think of her like that. Maybe- okay, even if I did like her, I can't date anyone who doesn't like Andre. It would never work."

Sitting up a little bit, Calvin folded his hands and looked up towards the ceiling of his room.

"The girls at my school always give all their cards and candy to the worst guys, I- seriously. They do. Andre might get mad a lot, you know, he's pretty blunt, but look, he's not a jerk. I'm not either. Neither of us would do what- just look at what Brad Huff did. A couple girls gave him some cards and some chocolates. He took the cards and threw them out without even looking and then ate a piece of chocolate and walked off. And he's not the only one who does that. Him and Charlie Jenkins and a bunch of their friends- they all do shit like that. Girls will give them all kinds of nice cards and stuff. They only keep them sometimes. Most of the time they get rid of them. They just throw them in the trash, right in front of the girls."

Calvin made a face. "It's like, what did these girls do to deserve that treatment? Except both Andre and I know; they were stupid." The blond fell silent for almost a minute. "Brad Huff, Charlie Jenkins, Matt Kerensky- they're all the same. They are all the fucking same! They treat girls like objects and throw them away like- like they're toys they've gotten bored with. That's how they are; they don't try to hide it, I mean, not really. They lie and say they care and they're romantic but you can tell that's bullshit if you're paying attention."

"Brad Huff." Calvin scoffed. "I hate that guy, but I guess the girls kind of deserved it for being so stupid as to give guys like him chocolates and cards."

Calvin stared into the camera. "If I had that kind of attention from girls you could bet that I wouldn't treat them like that. They constantly choose guys like him over guys like me, though. Every single time."

The blond threw up his hands, visibly frustrated. "What is it that they like so much about Brad Huff and Charlie Jenkins? Their looks? Money? What? I don't understand women. "I just want to know," Calvin continued, sighing a bit. "Am I not like good enough or something? Not cute enough? Not smart enough? Not manly enough? I hear them say they'd like commitment, or they like sensitive guys, or something. Brad Huff and Charlie Jenkins aren't anything like that. They're not. I know they're not. And I kind of think at least some of those girls know it too, but they keep going to them anyway. I guess being smart, caring, and loyal doesn't count for much next to somebody who's outgoing, has all this money, and looks great in his underwear." Calvin's face twisted with visible disgust. "We say we're evolved but we still choose who we fuck like cavemen. Him got big muscles, I fuck him. They're making a mistake and they don't even see it."

"Andre's the only one who gets any of this. Honestly, I'm amazed at how much we think alike. I'm frustrated and fed up about the same bullshit that he is. We don't talk about things all that serious at times but I want to talk about them to him because I don't think he'd judge me for it, you know?".

Calvin sighed. He glanced at the camera, then looked up at the ceiling of his room. "Sometimes I think it'd be easier if I just bit the dust sometime. Like, if you were, like, going somewhere in the city or something. Sometimes I just wish a bus would trample over you as you walked into the street."

After two minutes of silence, Calvin reached over and turned off the camera.

* * *

 **A/N: 4-11-2017. Completed a second chapter! I'm pretty pleased with the progress I'm making. 22 more chapters to go on this story, 11 of which will have to be rewritten from absolutely nothing. 13 chapters were recovered in various amounts, so I have something to work with on them. This would have all been so much easier had I been more careful about keeping the Word documents I had made containing copies of all 8 deleted stories, but alas, I was not careful and the old hard drive was wiped. I have to rebuild the deleted stories with what I have. Thankfully, that will be enough.**

 **My sincere thanks to xGreenThunderx for his support and the praise he's given in his reviews. Those are a very rare thing in as low-traffic a fandom as Zero Day, so the fact that he's reviewed every pretty much chapter of every Zero Day story I have up so far is really impressive. This project will mean a lot of work for precious little in return, but the thanks I get from xGreenThunderx definitely helps the whole thing feel worthwhile.**

 **As you can probably see by now, Calvin Gabriel is an intelligent, articulate, shy, depressed and lost individual. He doesn't really understand the world around him and why people allow or encourage some of the things they do, especially things Calvin sees as unjust. Think of his school photo and Andre's, how the color background for Calvin's is blue and Andre's is red. It relates to their personalities; Calvin is thoughtful and depressed, while Andre is angry and short-tempered. This is Calvin's story and we will see plenty more of who he is and what he is like behind the façade he puts up for the world and the people around him. Lastly, as a remnant of the original author's post-chapter A/N indicates, this story is loosely based on Dylan Klebold's journal. Calvin is NOT a fictional copy of Dylan, but he IS based off him. I have read the journals of both Columbine shooters and can see how Eric is the inspiration for Andre and Dylan is the inspiration for Calvin, yet Ben Coccio deserves great praise for making Andre and Calvin distinct and real as characters.**

 **As with Chapter 1, below is all of the recovered text from the original Chapter 2, all of which I have woven into my replacement chapter.**

 **This was the first chapter so far where I was unable to recover the time of the recording, but did get the month, day, and year. So I just made up 7:35PM as the time. Unless otherwise noted, the day, month, year, and time of the recordings are exactly as it was in the original story.**

 **As ever, reviews are welcome and appreciated. If you want to ask me anything about Zero Day or my work on its fandom, feel free to send me a PM or include your thoughts in a review. I have a tentative goal of completing perhaps half of this story- Chapters 1-12- before the end of 2017.**

* * *

 **A/N: This is loosely based on Dylan Klebold's (gunman of Columbine and person** _ **Calvin**_ **is based off of) personal journals that he wrote (I have ..**

 **The camera was turned on and** _ **Calvin**_ **straightened it before pulling back, leaning against an**

 **"** _ **Okay**_ **…" he began, looking at the camera. "Valentine's Day today; I got a total of one Valentine's card." The blond held up a red card, looking it ...**

 **"From my friend** _ **Rachel**_ **; I've known her for about a year now."** _ **Calvin**_ **nodded to himself, setting it aside. "I guess it's better than Andre though.**** _ **Andre**_ **didn't even get one card. He** _ **doesn't**_ **really care**'cause V-day is stupid…**

 **The only girl who really likes me is Rachel and I don't** _ **think**_ **she likes me**in that way and even if she did… I don't think of her like that. Maybe**

 **"It kind of sucks that my two best friends don't really** _ **get along**_ **but…**even if I did** _ **like**_ **her, I can't date anyone who** _ **doesn't like Andre**_ **.**

 **He took the cards and threw them out without even looking and** _ **then**_ **ate a piece ...**

 **They just throw them in the trash, sometimes right in front of the** _ **girls**_ **."*** _ ***Calvin**_ **made a face. "It's like, what did these girls do to deserve that treatment? Except both Andre and I** _ **know**_ **; they were stupid." The blond ...**

 _ **Calvin**_ **stared into the camera. "If I had that kind of attention from girls** _ **you**_ **could bet that I wouldn't treat them like that. They constantly choose ...**

 _ **Brad**_ **Huff and Charlie Jenkins? Their looks? Money? What? I don't understand women. "I just want to know,"** _ **Calvin**_ **continued, sighing a bit.** "Am I** _ **not**_ **like good** _ **enough**_ **or something?** _ **Not**_ **cute** _ **enough**_ **?** _ **Not**_ **smart** _ **enough**_ **?** _ **Not manly**_ **...**

 _ **Calvin**_ **scoffed. "I hate that guy, but I guess the girls kind of deserved it for being so** _ **stupid**_ **as to give guys like him chocolates and cards.".**

 _ **We**_ **don't** _ **talk**_ **about things all that serious at times but I want to** _ **talk**_ **about them to him because I don't think he'd judge me for it, you know?".**

 **just wish a bus would trample over you just as you** _ **walked**_ **into the street.**


	3. Chapter 3- April 30th, 1998

**Chapter 3: April 30** **th** **, 1998, 8:02PM**

* * *

 **A/N: Warnings: Mentions of depression, suicide, and killing somebody. Fun.**

* * *

Calvin's pale face filled the camera as it was turned on, then receded as he set it down and sat on his bed.

"Two months and eighteen days since my last entry." Calvin told the camera as he looked at his hands, almost as if he was talking to himself. "Not much is better, but it's not really that much worse either. I guess I'm just thankful it's almost summer. Andre and I _have_ already made plans to hang out practically every day once summer starts- not that we don't already. A smile twinged at his lips. "It's kinda nice to actually have a friend like Andre," he continued, now looking at the camera. "Andre is a great guy. Best kind of friend you could ask for. I don't understand how nobody else seems to see it." Calvin shrugged, as if to say, "It's their loss."

"Andre is coming over tomorrow after school. He's staying the night too, and it's like the…" Calvin thought for a few moments, looking up at the ceiling. "First time since I was six that a friend is coming over to stay the night. It's not something I thought I'd do again but it's cool. I'm glad we're getting to hang out like this. I don't know what it does for him, but us being friends is a really good thing for me. It kind of holds me up on days when I'm not feeling so good. I have a lot of those."

Calvin fell silent, folding and unfolding his hands. "The only one I'd feel at all comfortable talking to about this stuff would be Andre. I have a few other friends that I've had for years but I don't talk to them as much as I do to Andre. They're not as cool or as fun- they don't get me like Andre gets me. Rachel says that's because I don't let anybody but Andre in though." Calvin thought for a few moments. "I think that's… I think that might be a little true, but what am I supposed to say? That I like Andre better than I like everyone else? That'd just hurt Rachel's feelings and I don't want to hurt her or anything."

Calvin raised his hands, dropping them on his lap. "I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to explain it. I guess I just won't. She doesn't need to know. It's kind of always been this way for me. Even when I was little… people thought of me as their really good friend and I just… didn't. I don't- I don't think that's a bad thing really." Calvin went on, "Don't get me wrong, I like Rachel. Like, I do trust her. She's the only girl who is actually somewhat cool. Andre is… he's the best friend I've ever had. Probably the best one I'll ever have." Calvin laughed a little. "It's amazing now that I've come out and said it to myself, it feels so… so true! Like that's how it is and I didn't even realize it yet." Calvin shrugged slightly. "I don't know, it's just kinda nice having a friend like Andre again. You don't meet guys like him very often. When you find them, appreciate them. Don't ever take real friends for granted. There aren't many of them out there."

The blond ran a hand through his hair. "I'm still unsure of why exactly I'm making a video journal- or diary, I don't really care what you call it. I need to just ramble out my problems and maybe they don't seem that serious, but they feel serious. They feel fucking… serious and I'm unsure of what to do about it." Calvin sighed. "Most people would probably tell me to talk to my parents or a shrink or something but I don't want to... It'll just make them worried and I don't think it's too serious… maybe it kind of is though and I'll end up killing myself."

"Had a problem the other day when I got this idea in my head that I'd get a bunch of sleeping pills and keep them around, you know, just in case. I think my mom just about died of shock when I asked. I wanted them in case I couldn't sleep, 'cause my thoughts keep me up a lot of times. But I had to spend twenty minutes calming her down and convincing her I didn't want it for offing myself. I think she believed me but holy shit, I can't do that again. I have to keep Mom and Dad calm and in the dark. They can't know I'm thinking about these things."

"I don't think about killing myself though." Calvin told the camera, looking down at his bed. "It's this feeling I get when I go to bed at night and I think… please God- if there is a God, which I'm not entirely sure of- just let me die in my sleep tonight. I won't mind. Someone else can have the life I don't want and then I wake up and I find I'm still alive…" he sighed, glancing at the ceiling. "I feel disappointed, but I don't think of getting a rope and hanging myself from the tree in the backyard."

"I think of hanging other people from the tree in the backyard."

His blue eyes stared into the lens before he looked away and shut the camera off.

* * *

 **A/N: 4-11-2017. Surprise! TWO chapters on the same day instead of one. This is some great progress I'm making. And the more I get into writing the story, the more "in the zone" I get, the easier it becomes to fill in the gaps in these chapters I'm rewriting. I'm certain I'll come up with material for Chapter 6- first of the blank chapters that I have to completely replace- when I get there. Until then, two more chapters I partially recovered remain to be done.  
**

 **These chapters are honestly MUCH shorter than I have become used to writing. When I started on this site, 4 pages in a Word document was enough for a chapter, maybe 1,500 or 2,000 words. Then it became 10 pages. Then 20. I've written 30 and 40-page chapters as well. But "Calvin's Video Diaries" is not like that. A 20-page chapter or even a 10-page one would require Calvin to be having the camera record for at least that many minutes. He's got plenty to say, plenty on his mind, but does that mean he's about to go on for 20 or 30 pages' worth of material? I don't think so. And from what I can recall of the original story, it was not set up that way. Now, obviously the chapter lengths varied in the original story and they will in the replacement, but they won't be the size of the chapters I've gotten used to doing, is my point. Strictly speaking 12,799 words in the whole original story averages out to 533 words per chapter, so as long as I'm writing at least that many, I'm doing good.**

 **This chapter is important because not only does Calvin declare Andre his best friend, dispensing with earlier hesitation about expressing such serious trust, but he expresses a range of negative emotions that say his mind is not in a good place. For the first time in this story, he has expressed serious thoughts about harming others. April 30, 1998 won't be the last time he talks about that. Here may well be the beginning of Calvin's mental and emotional progression down an increasingly dark path, heading for the moral event horizon. He's a long way from it right now, but he's started heading for it. As we well know from the movie, he'll get there. It's only a matter of time.**

 **Below are all of the words I was able to recover for this chapter from the original story's Chapter 3.**

* * *

 **Warnings: Mentions of** _ **depression**_ **, suicide, and killing somebody. Fun.**

 **"Two months and eighteen days since my last** _ **entry**_ **."** _ **Calvin**_ **told the camera as he looked at his hands, almost as if he was talking to himself.**

 **"I'm still unsure of why exactly I'm making a** _ **video**_ **journal—or** _ **diary**_ **, I don't really care what you call it.**

 **I have a few** _ **other**_ **friends that I've had for years but I don't talk to them as much as I talk to Andre.**

 _ **They**_ **'re not as cool or as fun—** _ **they**_ **don't get me like Andre gets me.** _ **Rachel**_ **says that's because I don't let anybody but Andre in though.**

 **"** _ **Andre**_ **is coming over tomorrow after school. He's staying the night too, and it's like the…"** _ **Calvin**_ **thought for a few moments, looking up at the ...**

 _ **Calvin thought**_ **for a few moments, looking up at the ceiling. "First time since I was six that a friend is coming over to stay the** _ **night**_ **.**

 _ **Calvin**_ **told the camera as he looked at his hands, almost as if he was talking to himself. "** _ **Not**_ **much is better, but it's** _ **not**_ **really that much worse either. I guess I'm just thankful it's almost summer. Andre and I** _ **have**_ **already made plans to hang out practically every day once summer starts- not that we don't already. A smile twinged at his lips. "Its** _ **kinda nice**_ **to actually have a friend like Andre," he continued, now looking at the camera. "Andre is**

 **That I like Andre better than I like everyone else? That'd just hurt** _ **Rachel's**_ **feelings and I don't want to hurt her or anything.**

 **Even when I was little… people thought of me as their** _ **really good**_ **friend and I just… didn't. I don't—I don't think that's a bad thing** _ **really**_ **."** _ **Calvin**_

 **"I don't** _ **know**_ **, it's just kinda nice having a friend like Andre again.**

 **She's the only** _ **girl**_ **who is actually somewhat cool. Andre is…**

 **"I think that's… that might be a little** _ **true**_ **, but what am I supposed to say?**

 **I** _ **don't**_ **—I** _ **don't**_ **think that's a** _ **bad**_ **thing really.**

 **I need to just ramble out my** _ **problems**_ **and maybe they don't seem that serious, but they feel serious. They feel fucking… serious and I'm unsure of what to** _ **do**_ **about it.**

 **I think my** _ **mom**_ **almost died of shock when I asked.**

 **"Most people would probably tell me to talk to my** _ **parents**_ **or a**

 **... It'll just make them worried and I don't think it's too serious…** _ **maybe**_ **it kind of is though and I'll end up killing myself.**

 **"I don't think about killing myself though."** _ **Calvin**_ **told the camera, looking down at his bed. "It's this** _ **feeling**_ **I get when I go to bed at night and I think… please God- if there is a God, which I'm not entirely sure of- just let me die in my sleep tonight. I won't mind. Someone else can have the life I don't want and then I** _ **wake**_ **up and I find I'm still** _ **alive**_ **…" he sighed, glancing at the ceiling. "I** _ **feel**_ **disappointed, but I don't think of getting a rope and hanging myself from the tree in the backyard.**

 **I think of hanging other people from the tree in the backyard.**

 **His blue eyes stared into the lens before he looked away and shut the camera** _ **off**_ **.**


	4. Chapter 4- June 22nd, 1998

**Chapter 4: June 22nd, 1998, 1:13PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter has less description and a lot more conversation as its both Andre and Calvin.**

* * *

The camera was aimed down at the grass as it first turned on, then quickly raised and aimed at a dark-haired teenager wearing sunglasses.

"Is it on?" the boy asked the one holding the camera.

"I think so, Andre," Calvin's voice came back.

"You think or you know?" Andre asked.

"Well, what do you know or think?"

"I can see the little red light blinking!" Andre exclaimed, pointing towards it.

"What if the light is blinking just because the camera wants you to think it's on when it really isn't?"

Andre sighed, visibly frustrated even with his eyes hidden behind the black sunglasses. "Dude, cameras are not that smart."

"They're getting smarter."

"You sure aren't."

"Which is why you hang out with me so much."

"God-damn-it!" Andre exclaimed. Calvin laughed. "So are you done pushing my buttons or what?" Andre demanded.

"It's gonna get funnier if I keep on doing it."

"Yeah, funnier for you, not for me!"

"Don't you want your friend Calvin Gabriel to have a good time and everything?"

"I'd rather if he did it without doing this he knows I don't like," Andre said.

"But don't you like the things I like?"

"Usually. Not right now. Are we gonna get started or what?"

The camera shifted as Calvin adjusted his aim. "Herr Kriegman-"

"Sturmbannführer Kriegman."

"Sturmbannführer Kriegman, would you like to tell the audience what an officer of SS is doing out here today?"

"The Führer doesn't want me talking about SS business while I'm off-duty, hanging out with Americans."

"If you're off-duty is this SS business?"

"Maybe not."

"And you know he likes me too, right? I mean, look at me, I'm blond, blue eyes, white- like, the perfect Aryan, you know?"

"That's part of the reason I hang out with you."

"I fit your racial standards?"

"Sure. I mean, a lot of white people are fucking stupid too."

"But I'm not."

"No."

"Okay, Major of SS, did you want to tell the viewers what we're out here for?"

"Did we say what rank you were?" Andre asked.

"Uh, I think I was a major too, wasn't I?"

"Okay, but I've been in the SS longer."

"Alright, so what are we out here for, Sturmbannführer, for like the third time?"

"We're here," Andre said, "to show what someone built of steel looks like. And to have some fun."

"We're at a park."

Bending down, Andre grabbed a few rocks from the ground. "There's a bird nest up there somewhere… let's see if I can hit it and knock it down."

Calvin turned the camera, aiming it at a large oak tree nearby. "That tree?"

"Jawohl, Herr Gabriel."

"So, can the birds defend themselves?"

Andre looked at the camera. "If they can, let them. If they can't they don't deserve to live."

Calvin followed him with the camera as his friend circled the tree, locating the nest. "The great Andre Kriegman is now going to attempt the impossible!"

Andre continued circling the tree, looking upward, peering at different branches. "I know the fuckers are up there somewhere. I saw them up here the other day." He stopped, looked closely, then resumed walking. "I know they're here."

"Are you sure you're even gonna hit 'em?"

"Was?"

"Are you sure you're gonna hit 'em even if you find 'em?" Calvin asked. "You've got, like, three or four rocks and they're gonna be pretty far up there. How do you know you'll even get 'em? Your aim's not that great, Andre. I mean, Herr Sturmbannführer."

Andre tossed a rock upward, having apparently located the nest. "I have fucking good aim, thank you very fucking much." Calvin turned the camera to himself, shaking his head and mouthing "no he doesn't".

As _Calvin_ turned the camera back to _Andre_ , the boy threw another rock into the tree. Barely a moment later something _fell_ to the ground and Andre gave a yelp. "Fuck yes! How's that for aim?" "Gotta admit, pretty good, Andre." Calvin stated as he walked over, turning the camera towards the nest. "Aww… look the eggs got smashed against the ground. And there's a couple dead baby birds, too."

Calvin chuckled. Andre shot him a grin.

"Sucks for them."

Andre went out of view and came back. A stick poked at the nest. The brunette turned the nest around, emptying it out. Andre stabbed at one of the dead birds. "Dude, this is as bad as kicking puppies. You're not a very nice person, Andre." Calvin spoke reproachfully, but with no force or conviction in his voice.

"So the fuck what?" Andre demanded. "Nobody's actually nice. Deep down everyone's out to fuck over everyone else."

"Easy, Andre, you don't need to tell me."

"Yeah." Andre poked at the ruined eggs and the tiny birds, none of which had survived the fall. "There's nothing like taking a life," Andre said, sounding almost entranced. "I feel like I'm way better than just some high school kid standing here. It's like… I'm God."

"So you're God?"

"I'm always right. Don't try and tell me otherwise."

"Okay, nächste frage, Andre."

"Ja, was geht's los?"

"I just wanna know how you feel about knocking down a nest of baby birds and eggs. And stabbing one of them."

"I feel fine. Actually, feels pretty good. Like I said."

"But you knocked down a nest and you killed them. Come on, where's the fun in that?"

"What the fuck is with you and that camera?" Andre asked, looking towards Calvin. "Isn't it a bit weird filming everything like that?"

"This is for posterity. Years from now I'm going to be able to look back at these tapes and see what sorry SOBs we were."

Calvin's right arm reached out past the camera as he moved toward Andre, and he snatched the brunette's sunglasses before he could do anything, then took them and put them on. The camera briefly was turned around, showing Calvin wearing the black sunglasses.

"Hey, fucking give 'em back!"

"A little late for that, Andre." Calvin's voice came from behind the camera as he turned it to his friend. The brunette stared into the camera before shaking his head, leaning against a picnic table that was under the tree.

Andre looked up, eyes squinting against the glare of the sun. "Man, I forgot how fucking bright it was out here."

"Yeah, I like it better this way."

"Why are you filming everything? Seriously, what is this shit about?"

"It's for my video diary. I'm recording memories of our friendship, Andre."

"Bull fucking shit. Actually, you know what? If we're filming I want a turn." Andre moved in and the camera briefly was jerked in multiple directions as some kind of struggle took place. Then the camera leveled out again, and Andre stepped away, turning the camera to show his sunglasses safely back on his face. "Got 'em back." He aimed the camera at Calvin, who stood nearby, smiling in amusement. "Okay, now we're having a question and answer section of your videotaping. Now the great Calvin Gabriel gets to answer the fragen."

Calvin shook his head as he leaned against a tree, staring into the lens of the camera as Andre concentrated on him.

"Look at me."

"I am."

"Seriously, look."

Calvin chuckled. "All right." He glanced up at Andre, then at the camera he was holding again. "He's crazy, you know that?"

"Hey, I'm holding the camera. I ask the fragen now."

"Okay, what's the question?"

"How do you feel about watching your best friend kill some birds?"

"It was interesting." Confident and sarcastic behind the camera, the blond was shy and self-conscious in front of it. He shrugged. "It was fine. I mean, it beats hanging out with Brad Huff."

"What, you fucking hung out with him?" Andre demanded, sounding shocked. "Seriously?"

Calvin laughed. "No."

"I'd kill him if you did."

"Him, not me?"

"Yeah."

Calvin laughed again. "Okay, that works, I guess."

"Do you think your best friend might be a sociopath?" Andre asked.

Calvin shrugged. "I dunno."

"I mean, what if I knocked Brad Huff out of a tree and he died like one of those birds?"

"I'm not friends with him."

"So you'd only care if I killed somebody you're friends with?"

"I mean, I guess."

"What if I killed him with a gun and then asked you to hide the gun?"

"Better not do that, Andre. Come on, we'd get caught and go to jail."

"Okay, well, maybe I won't do that. He's not worth that much trouble. But guns, dude, guns are fuckin' cool. Everybody should have a fucking gun. Everybody. You know what the world would be like if every person had a gun just starting at the age of thirteen? The world would be in chaos trying to clean up how much blood there is."

"There _was_ , Andre. Come on, I know you pay attention in English class."

"No, I actually don't. You think I care what that bitch has to tell me about grammar and shit? I can talk good. I don't need her."

Calvin snickered. "I think you maybe do need English class, Andre."

"Okay, how about if I raped Lauren, you know, the hot girl who sits like two rows in front of us? Like, how about if I did that and I called you and said you could come over and have her, too?"

"Andre, if you're going to ask questions like that then give me the camera."

The brunette backed away hurriedly as Calvin reached for it. "No, no, no, I'm not done yet."

"What's with these questions, Andre? You got the camera and now you wanna ask me all these strange things."

"They're not that strange. They're just the things most people never let themselves talk about."

"You're really not a very nice person, Andre."

"Is anyone, Calvin?" Andre asked rhetorically, aiming the camera at Calvin as the blond leaned against the tree trunk. "I mean, seriously. Is anybody a nice person? Are you?"

Silence met the question as Calvin looked into the lens, seeming to be thinking over his answer.

* * *

 **A/N: 4-13-2017. Completed a fourth chapter! The story has 20 more chapters left to go. It makes it easier to progress, honestly, when the chapters only need to be about 1,500 to 2,000 words at minimum. I don't actually know the exact word count for any of the 24 chapters, but that's what I'd guess most of them were. But, since the 12,799 total word count averages out to 533 per chapter, I'd say some may have been 1,000 or even less. With the 1,500-2,000 word chapters I have been writing so far, this replacement story will wind up being significantly longer than the original- around 40,000 words upon completion of all 24 chapters instead of 12,799. The good news about that is I don't really need to push myself to make these big, lengthy chapters. Many will be pretty short, especially compared to what I usually do.**

 **I can say that this project feels vastly less imposing and intimidating now that I have completed so many chapters for so many of the planned stories. The RS stories are coming along well. I'm glad to have made so much progress after starting the project in December 2016. Since this is such a detailed effort, as you can see, I'm using thorough author's notes chapter-by-chapter. If nothing else, I want to preserve some of my thoughts as I work through the process.**

 **Andre's comment about how the birds should fight and they don't deserve to live if they can't or won't echoes a statement made by Adolf Hitler. His last name is German and Andre is shown to be able to speak German, as his parents (presumably) are originally from Germany. The film doesn't *really* touch on whether or not he has the same fascination with Hitler and the Nazis that Eric Harris did, but honestly it is very easy to believe that Andre would.**

 **When Calvin says, "It's gonna get funnier if I keep on doing it," that is a reference to the 2000 TV miniseries "The 10** **th** **Kingdom". The character Wolf says a similar comment when Tony Lewis says "That's not funny."**

 **Again, my sincere thanks to xGreenThunderx. He's a much newer writer on this site than me, but he knows his stuff and leaves the best kind of reviews a writer can ask for. If you like my work, think about looking at his.**

 **I used some German here and there, as well as throwing in dialogue and such that was not in the original Chapter 4. The original author did use German, mainly with Andre, as some remnants of old author's notes below indicate.**

 **As usual, below I have all the words I was able to recover from the original chapter.**

* * *

 **A/N: This** _ **chapter**_ **has less description and a lot more conversation as its with both Andre and** _ **Calvin**_ **. (1): "Nachste frage" according to google ...**

 **surname "Kriegman" is and seeing as** _ **how**_ **Eric Harris used German quite a ...**

 **Bending down, Andre grabbed a few rocks from the** _ **ground**_ **. "There's a bird nest up there somewhere… let's see if I** _ **can**_ **hit it and knock it down.**

 _ **Calvin**_ **followed him with the camera as his friend circled the tree, locating the nest. "The great Andre** _ **Kriegman**_ **is now going to attempt the impossible!**

 _ **Don't try**_ **and tell me otherwise."**

 **"You** _ **know**_ **what the world would be like if every person had a gun just**starting at the age of thirteen?**

 **The world would be in** _ **chaos**_ **trying to clean up how much blood there is."**

 **"I have** _ **fucking**_ **good aim, thank you very** _ **fucking**_ **much."** _ **Calvin**_ **turned the camera to himself, shaking his head and mouthing "no he doesn't".**

 **"What the fuck is with you and that camera?" Andre ...**

 _ **Calvin's**_ **voice came from behind the camera as he turned it to his friend. The brunette stared into the camera before shaking** _ **his**_ **head, leaning**

 _ **Calvin**_ **shook his head as he leaned** _ **against a tree**_ **, staring into the lens of the camera as Andre concentrated on him.**

 **Andre laughed, looking over at** _ **him before**_ **winding his arm back, throwing a rock up into the tree.**

 **As** _ **Calvin**_ **turned the camera back to** _ **Andre**_ **, the boy threw another rock into the tree. Barely a moment later something** _ **fell**_ **to the ground and Andre gave a yelp. "Fuck yes! How's that for aim?" "Gotta admit, pretty good, Andre." Calvin stated as he walked over, turning the camera towards the nest. "Aww… look the eggs got smashed against the ground.**

 **Years from now I'm going to be able to** _ **look**_ **back at these tapes and see what sorry SOBs we were." Calvin chuckled. Andre shot him a grin.**

 **"** _ **Okay**_ **, now we're having a question and answer section of your videotaping.**

 **Andre looked up, eyes squinting against the** _ **glare**_ **of the sun.**

 **I'm** _ **not**_ **sure if Andre is German but I'm pretty sure the surname ...**

 **"Isn't it a bit weird filming everything** _ **like**_ **that?**

 **Andre stabbed at one of the** _ **dead**_ **birds. "Dude, this is as bad as kicking puppies. You're…**

 **Come on, where's the** _ **fun**_ **in that?**

 **A** _ **stick**_ **poked at the nest.**

 **"** _ **Andre**_ **, if you're going to** _ **ask**_ **questions like that then give me the camera.".**

 **Silence met the question as** _ **Calvin looked into the lens**_ **, seeming to be thinking over his answer.**


	5. Chapter 5- August 31st, 1998

**Chapter 5: August 31st, 1998, 10:44PM**

* * *

 **A/N: More mentions of depression and suicide and murder. What else do you expect from lovely Calvin Gabriel here?**

* * *

Calvin lightly pulled at his blond hair, the night vision casting a blue glow over him. He messed with the camera a bit, fixing and straightening it before settling back on his bed.

"I've been having some interesting thoughts lately," Calvin told the camera. "But they aren't the kinda things I want my parents hearing me talk about. That's why I'm doing this at almost eleven at night. They go to bed pretty early and they don't get up much during the night."

He sighed, putting his hands behind his head and looking up at the ceiling of his room. "I'm kind of jealous of Andre. He's got this cousin who takes him shooting once in a while. They went, like, twice back in June, and a couple times in July and this month, too. His cousin only does it with people he's met and known for a while, though, so right now, I can't go."

Calvin sighed. "So, okay. What I'm jealous about is that Andre gets to shoot. He's known how to shoot and use a gun for long than I really knew what they're- what they are, what they're used for. I've never even held a gun but the way he talks about it makes me jealous. The world would be in chaos trying to clean up how much blood there is." Calvin shook his head. "Andre says things really well sometimes. I mean, if that actually happened, like- I think it would be poetically… beautifully tragic. At least, tragic in other people's opinions. Me… I don't think it'd be all that bad."

The blond brought his hands out in front of him, holding them up, gesturing. "I mean, what would be so bad about it? There'd be less people, less problems. Some deaths to remind people what's important. It'd keep things interesting. What fun is life without a little death?"

Calvin let his hands fall to his lap. "See, that's the kind of thing I keep thinking about now. I have ideas like that sometimes. I keep them to myself because… I know nobody else would understand. Andre would. What he said, back in June, he got me thinking." Calvin fell silent for a few moments. "So I began to research them- guns, I mean. And I swear, once I started, it was like I couldn't stop. I realized how much I didn't know about guns, and I decided, I wanted to change that. I was on the computer for hours, and I had to remember to delete all the search history each time. I wanna know everything I've missed and I missed a lot, so there's a lot of online searches and stuff I have to delete before I get off the computer. I don't think they check it much… but… I can't ever have them find out I'm interested in that. They'd worry and there's nothing for them to worry about, but they wouldn't believe that. There's just things I have to hide."

Calvin thought in silence for a minute. "I had an idea back in late June, like a day or a couple days after the last video entry I did. I thought about if I'd had a gun back in middle school. Like, if I'd actually just been given one when I turned thirteen, like Andre talked about. I probably would've killed myself if I'd had that gun early on- but then I wouldn't have met Andre, not that I would know that.".

Calvin mimed shooting himself. "It's the best way to go, I think. Just make sure it's a good-sized caliber- well, basically, not a .22. And it has to get the brain. Best thing is a shotgun, seriously, or a good rifle. A lot of those, especially shotguns, will take your goddamn head off. Well, just about, anyway."

The blond raised his hands, then dropped them to his stomach. "I don't get why they don't ever let you talk about it. Guns, killing people, killing yourself. They say school is about educating us- why don't they ever let me learn about the things I actually wanna know? Thank God- if, you know, there is one- that I can read books and look things up on the internet myself. Guns are so goddamn cool. It's just like Andre said. You can do anything with one. You can be anything. Everybody should have one."

Calvin fell silent again, thinking. "Andre came over the other day and stayed the night again. All Andre and I did was just sit… and talk. We played games and we just did things… and talked. It's weird. I've never talked to anybody like I've talked to Andre this year. We have so much in common, it's amazing." He laughed. "Look, I realize I've said that before. But if you were me, you- it's amazing. You just can't… you can't describe what it feels like, realizing you've made a friend like I have. Not just any friend, the best friend you could. I think Andre has to feel like this, too. I mean, why else would he call and come by so much? And he keeps inviting me over to his place, too. We get along really well. And the fact we can talk about anything we want to each other- that's the best thing. If I wanted to kill somebody or kill myself or anything like that, Andre wouldn't flip out and be like, 'Oh, no, don't do that!'. He'd just help me figure out the best way to do it. That's a best friend, right there. I could show Andre a bloody knife and he'd come help me hide the body."

The blond teenager chuckled again. "I mean, I'm exaggerating probably. Like, neither one of us would seriously do that. We'd get caught, like I told him. That shit is so hard to get away with now. Whatever. Well, point is, we're best friends now, and I don't think that's gonna change. Sophomore year is gonna be way better than freshman year."

Calvin thought for a minute and a half before continuing. "Well… actually… I mean it's still gonna fucking suck. It's high school. It's shit. But… I guess I can stand it better now that I'm friends with Andre, if that makes sense."

The blond adolescent drew in a long breath, letting it out slowly. "I don't really see as much of a lot of people anymore, if that makes sense. I mean- I hung out with Rachel a bit this summer, but I kinda fell out with my other friends. Most of them, they just- I don't know. They don't get me. Rachel kind of does, but not like Andre. Nobody understands me like he does."

Calvin sat up, staring down at the floor. "I just don't see any point in hanging out with people when I don't like doing it all that much. I feel so out of place." He gave a slight cough, and then cleared his throat. "I can't wait to go shoot with Andre sometime. He says he's gonna talk his cousin into letting me come along sooner or later. I bet he'll hit the targets like he hit that bird's nest. I still can't believe he did that. Andre has really good aim."

The blond teenager fell silent for nearly two minutes, then started to talk again. "Sometimes I really wish my parents had guns in our house. I'd love to just… sit down in the bathtub and blow my brains out with a shotgun. But then… if I did that, Andre would lose his best friend. I can't do that to him." Calvin laughed. "He'd be so pissed he'd kill himself too and then come and find me in Hell and kick my ass." The blond teen ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't know if I believe in Hell, because I'm not sure if I believe in God and all, but, if it's real, I've thought for a while that's where I'd go. I mean, don't Christians say you'll go to Hell if you kill yourself? It's basically where bad people go, and if you kill yourself, I guess you're a bad person. I don't know. Does that mean I'm a bad person, too? I stood there and laughed while Andre killed those baby birds and smashed those eggs in June."

Calvin shrugged. "I still don't feel bad about it. It was just fun hanging out with Andre and- yeah. I could've stopped him but I didn't. I guess I just kind of think Andre maybe has a point. I mean, the birds and eggs couldn't really fight against a teenager, but, fact is it's a kill or be killed world. If Andre hadn't done it some hawk, you know, some big, predator bird would've just come along and eaten them. I guess I feel kind of bad about it, but I don't feel bad enough that I'd stop Andre if he did it again." A pause. "Actually, I'd probably help him with it next time if he asked me to."

Giving a shrug of his shoulders, Calvin tilted his head. "I just take Andre as he is. He knows things about the world and about life that most people don't wanna face. He's different in the same way I am. You can't just demand your friends me, you know, perfect, like- you have to let some things go. Andre swears and gets mad a lot and he kills birds sometimes. So what? Everybody does mean stuff sometimes. Andre is just- yeah. He's a great guy. I'm so glad he got me interested in guns. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about 'em. Guns get you so much respect. They make people fear you. I can't wait to go shoot one. There's so much I've missed out on with all that. It'll be fun catching up."

Calvin smiled in the dark. After sitting there for a minute or so, he got up and turned off the camera.

* * *

 **A/N: 4-14-2017. Completed Chapter 5! 1-5 all had recovered material to help me write the replacement, but 6 will not. That one I will just have to make up completely. We can see a clear progression in Calvin's thoughts so far; he is withdrawing from his other friends and from the world in general, while he draws closer to and confides more in Andre. He is still lost and feels depressed and out of place, but he has found in Andre someone who is much like him. He is benefiting from Andre's friendship, but it isn't making him more outgoing or more content with his surroundings. It just makes him more comfortable about withdrawing and rejecting the people and the world around him. Andre is antisocial, and not in a healthy way, and Calvin is too, to echo a comment Brooks Brown once made talking about Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.**

 **My thanks to xGreenThunderx and to the first-ever anonymous reviewer of this or any of my Zero Day Restoration Series stories, "A". All reviews are appreciated; as much effort as I put into these stories, it's great to know that my work is well-received and that I am doing this right as far as my reader are concerned.**

 **I doubt I will ever know why this or any of the other rewritten stories were deleted, why their author deleted them only and then abandoned their account but didn't close it. That happened going on a year ago now, and may be a year ago exactly, since it is unknown to me when precisely the 8 stories were removed. But ultimately it's just details. I will rewrite the 8 deleted stories, however long it takes.**

 **I had less recovered text to work with on this chapter than the previous 4, so more of the chapter had to be rewritten from scratch. Thankfully I still had an idea of what the chapter was about, and how Calvin was indicating a growing fascination with firearms that started back in late June 1998. Andre said some memorable things that Cal has held onto. Overall, I think I rewrote a good chapter. I wish some of these were not quite as short, and that I had at least one completely recovered chapter from the original story to give me an idea of what the typical size of a chapter was. But honestly, my chapters have to be longer on average than those of the original story- 1,500 words or 2,000 words per chapter will result in a story much bigger than the original 12,799 word count. And, like I said, remember that Calvin would have to be talking for quite a while to have a 20 or even a 10 page chapter. For most of these, he just talks for maybe 5-10 minutes.**

 **There is one thing I know about the original stories that the RS stories are replacing, and I was told it by the original stories' author. They once sent me a PM- it may have been in response to my reviews of so many of their Zero Day stories- in which they mentioned having written the stories kind of all at once, in a burst of inspiration after seeing the movie back in December 2011. It's a little ironic, then, that this is a months-long project that I am putting tremendous thought and effort into. Not that the original author didn't do that, obviously they did, but it was done over a much shorter period of time and the stories and chapters were generally smaller. I just mean to say it is a little ironic that I am taking months to carefully and diligently replace a bunch of stories that were fired off all at once. But, that's just how it turned out. The Zero Day fandom is where I started- it is where I uploaded the first story I ever submitted to this site. I am really enjoying my work on the Restoration Series, and I look forward to getting more and more of it completed and uploaded to the site.**

 **The recovered material from the original Chapter 5 is below.**

* * *

 **Warning: More mentions of depression and suicide and murder. What else do you expect from lovely** _ **Calvin**_ **Gabriel here?**

 _ **Calvin**_ **lightly pulled at his blond hair, the night vision** _ **casting**_ **a blue glow over him. He messed with the camera a bit, fixing and straightening it ...**

 **He's known how to** _ **shoot**_ **and use a gun for longer than I really knew what they're ...**

 **I've never even held a** _ **gun**_ **, but the way he talks about it makes me jealous.**

 **The world would be in chaos** _ **trying**_ **to clean up how much blood there is."** _ **Calvin**_ **...**

 **"So I began to research them—guns, I** _ **mean**_ **.**

 **I think it would be poetically… beautifully** _ **tragic**_ **.**At** _ **least**_ **, tragic in other people's opinions.**

 **that gun early on—but then I wouldn't have** _ **met**_ **Andre, not that I would know that.".**

 **All Andre and I did was just sit… and** _ **talk**_ **.** _ **We**_ **played games and** _ **we talked**_ **and** _ **we**_ **just did things… and** _ **talked**_ **. It's weird. I've never** _ **talked**_ **to**Andre this year. We have so much in common, it's amazing.**

 **I hung out with** _ **Rachel**_ **a bit this summer, but I kinda fell out with my other**friends.**

 _ **Andre has**_ **really good aim.**


	6. Chapter 6- September 18th, 1998

**Chapter 6: September 18, 1998: 5:00PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter is notable because it is the first one that had to be completely reconstituted from scratch. I was unable to recover or personally remember the date, time, or contents of this entry. Due to Chapter 5 and 7 both being set in 1998, however, I was able to figure out the year, as well as at least what two dates it had to be set between.**

* * *

Calvin turned on the camera and sat back on his bed, messing with his blond hair a little.

"Well, I'm still alive. I'm still back at school. Life is still mostly shit for me. The only thing that really makes things any different from last year is that I'm friends with Andre now. I like how he's all into, like, World War Two and stuff. I don't mind that he likes Hitler or the Nazis, either. I mean, they teach you that those guys were bad, but were they bad? Were they really? Or is that just what the people who won the war fifty years ago want everyone to think?"

The blond teenager tilted his head to the left, thinking in silence for several moments. "I was reading this novel about what would've happened if Germany had won the war. Some guy called Harris wrote it." Calvin paused to hold up a paperback book with a gold swastika on the red front cover. "I liked it, I mean, it was interesting. I shouldn't have kept it face up in the basket-thing under my desk in English, though. I heard some other kids talking. We just got back and people think I'm a Nazi. Great."

Calvin laughed after a moment, shrugging. "Well, okay, I guess I kind of am. I mean, Andre says all these things about how Hitler and the Nazis were so cool and they had all the right ideas. And sometimes… actually, more than sometimes… I think he's got a point. I think the two of us would've been great Nazis. Andre says we should secretly call ourselves SS officers because that's what we would've been. He says we just weren't meant for these times, but if we'd been around back then and we'd been German, the Nazis would've appreciated us for who we are."

The camera continued to record as Calvin looked at the book again. "It's not like I really have anything against Jews. Or whoever. But Germany in 1964 in this book- it's like they're invincible. They're way ahead of where we were in the 1960's, and there's no hippies making them lose a war either."

Calvin grinned. "Andre says America would've won Vietnam if we'd just shot all the hippies. He says they made us lose, them and everybody else who wouldn't get with the program. He's probably right there, too. Andre usually is. Here's the thing… if Hitler had won, it wouldn't have been all bad. Germany would've been doing great, and this book- it has Hitler trying to ally with us, the United States. The SS detective guy and this American reporter in the book, they keep that from happening, but I don't think they should've. I wish the book ended with the Reich and America allying to finish off the Soviets. You know, so there's no more commie bastards."

Setting the book aside, Calvin went on, "I think the thing is, Andre has a point that there's people the world would be better off without. Sometimes I think the world would be better off without me. Like, I wouldn't be missed if I died right now. Okay- no, that's wrong. Andre would miss me. I'm like his only real friend. I have some casual friends, you know. People I hang out with sometimes. But not that much, and I don't trust them like I do with Andre. But Andre- I don't think he really has any friends at all besides me. He doesn't like people. Just me. What makes me so special I'm not really sure, but Andre says he can talk to me, I get it, I'm different. I've told him it's like that for me with him. It's why we're such good friends."

The blond youth suddenly straightened and put up his right arm in a perfect Nazi salute. "I swear to thee, Adolf Hitler, as Chancellor and Führer of the German Reich, loyalty and bravery. I vow to thee and those superiors whom thou shalt appoint, obedience unto death. So help me God."

Calvin laughed a little as he dropped his arm, grinning sheepishly at the camera. "I think that's in one of the first pages of the book here, or I found it in some book at the library at school. It's the oath that everybody swore when they joined any part of the SS. Andre loves all that shit because he says if the SS were around now, they'd let him get rid of all the fucking idiots at school. He says he'd… purify the school. Leave only the hot girls and a few smart guys, a few dudes worth leaving around."

Leaning back on his bed, Calvin smiled. "I sure like the sound of that. Seriously, like- that'd be so amazing. No more Richie Marcus, no more Brad Huff, no more Charlie O'Bannon. None of them. They'd just be… gone. Sent to the gas chambers, then the ovens. I'd spend every day fucking beautiful girls until my balls hurt." Calvin laughed, staring up at the ceiling. "Yeah. No more idiots and all the sex I can take. I'd let some people get gassed if I could have that."

Calvin lay on his back for a while, hands behind his head, lost in the fantasy.

"I think I mostly _look_ like a nicer person than Andre. Because when he talks about who he'd like to get rid of, how he'd have all the fucking morons killed if he could, how Hitler had the right idea about all these different things- I understand. Like, I really, really do. I understand. And I think I agree, honestly. But even with that book people saw me with, you know, they don't think I'm a bad guy the way people think Andre is. Nobody likes Andre but me, it seems like. And Andre doesn't like anybody but me. Anyway, I mean, I have a lot of hate in me under… under all the nice-guy stuff. Rachel, you can just tell she thinks I'm some kind of nice guy who would just be the best boyfriend ever or something. But I'm just like Andre. Every time I see a good-looking girl I want to just fuck her like an animal."

The blond fell silent again, thinking.

"I think that most people aren't as nice as they look and act. Look- underneath it all, most people are fuckin' assholes. Seriously. The other day I was walking home from school and some kids I don't know drove by in their car and threw an empty bottle at me and Andre. It shattered at our feet and Andre just took off running after them. They laughed at him. He picked up some rocks and threw them and he cracked one of their plastic taillights but I don't think they noticed. I guess it's good he got to do that because he wanted to murder them. You should've heard some of the stuff he screamed. Anyway, those kids didn't know us. We didn't do anything to them. But they fucked with us because they could. And that's what I think it comes down to for most people. They'll do shit to you just because they can, and that's how the world is. People only want you around if you have something they want. Like, if I was really hot and muscular and stuff, and if I had money- okay, basically, if I was Brad Huff- girls would want to get in my pants because they want to see me naked and they want me to buy me nice stuff. Not because of who I am. Nobody fucking cares who you are."

Calvin sighed, running one hand through his blond hair, then the other. "Some days I just get so mad and I wanna- I don't know what I wanna do. A lot of nights I go to sleep and I don't care if I wake up again. But I keep on taking care of myself and staying out of trouble and acting 'normal', you know, whatever that means. I make sure no one can see what I'm really thinking or who I really am. I've honestly been doing that for a while, probably not even thinking about it. I just always felt like nobody would ever really understand me and the thoughts I have. Andre says I'm right about that. He says no one deserves to know. He says we're better than everyone else and all they wanna do is keep us down."

Clearing his throat, Calvin sat up on the side of his bed. "I'm gonna go bowling with Andre tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that, seriously. It's gonna be so fun. Nothing is ever boring with Andre. He's so smart, and for a guy who nobody seems to like he sure has an awesome sense of humor."

The blond teenager threw his hands up, suddenly exasperated. "How can nobody see it? I wanted to be Andre Kriegman's friend from the day I first saw him and went up and talked to him. He was kinda wary at first but we got past that. How can no one else but me tell what a smart guy he is? I just don't get it."

Calvin got up and picked up the camera, setting it on the bed and aiming it toward the dresser it had been sitting on. He went over to it and pulled a magazine out from under some neatly-folded clothes in the second drawer from the top. Turning around, he held it up and grinned.

"Andre got me this. Said he knew I liked reading. You can't buy these unless you're eighteen, so, I don't know how he got it, but seriously, I don't care. Andre's just awesome like that. I did some 'reading' in the bathroom late last night, and _holy fuck_ did that feel good. Just when I was really starting to feel depressed again, Andre finds something that helps, and I didn't even ask him for it. Like I said- nobody but me seems to get how amazing a guy Andre is. We're gonna kick ass at bowling tomorrow."

"Calvin!" a woman's voice called from elsewhere in the house. "Come downstairs, dinner's ready!"

"Yeah, yeah, dinner, dinner!" a boy cheered, shoving the door open. Calvin jumped and quickly hid the magazine back in the dresser, slamming it shut while the smaller blond boy ran into his room.

"Eric!" Calvin yelled, "What did I say about coming into my room?"

"I forgot!" Eric said, continuing to run around. He noticed the camera and went up to it, putting his face up very close. "Hey, look, a video camera? Are you doing like a movie? Can I be in it?"

"No, I'm not, it's not even on!" Calvin exclaimed. He picked up Eric under the younger boy's arms, pushed open his closet door with his foot, and stuck Eric inside and shut the door. Immediately, the sound of two fists banging on the inside of the door began to be heard.

"Mom! Calvin put me in the closet again! Make him let me out!"

"Just come out of the closet, Eric!" Calvin called. "It's okay, we won't judge, just stop hiding in the closet, dude!"

"What? You put me in here! I can't even find the door handle!"

Calvin was holding a hand over his mouth, shaking as he tried to hold in laughter. "Uh, try jiggling the handle in there!"

"There _is_ no handle in here, Calvin!"

"There's not? Are you sure?" Calvin asked, laughing so hard he could barely stand up.

"Calvin," a man's voice called from downstairs, "let your brother out of the closet and come down here for dinner."

"Eric doesn't wanna come out of the closet, Dad! I told him I won't judge!"

"Knock it off, Calvin, and let him out before dinner gets cold."

"Okay, Dad," Calvin said with some reluctance. He went over to the camera, picked it up, and held a finger to his lips, his eyes wide, silently saying, "Don't tell anyone." Then the recording ended as Calvin turned the camera off.

* * *

 **A/N: 5-26-2017. Completed another chapter, the first one ever in the process of writing this story that had to be rewritten without any help or hints from the original work. I feel like I did fine with it. Ultimately, this story is about Calvin Gabriel, him doing his thing and going through the process that leads him, in the end, toward Zero Day. So, when I have nothing recovered from the original chapter of a given number, I just make something up based on what year it is and what sort of frame of mind Calvin might be in given the events of previous and upcoming chapters.**

 **The novel Calvin holds up and talks about reading is Fatherland by Robert Harris, a famous alternate history novel set in 1964, 18 years after the official end of an alternate World War II in 1946, where Germany won the war and Hitler remains in power long after his death in our timeline in 1945.**

 **Calvin trapping his brother in the closet and then telling him "Try jiggling the handle!" and Eric's response "There IS no handle in here!" is a reference to the 2000 film** _ **The Emperor's New Groove**_ **.**

 **With Chapter 6 out of 24 done, this story is now 25% of the way to completion.**


	7. Chapter 7- September 19th, 1998

**Chapter 7: September 19, 1998, 4:07PM**

* * *

 **A/N: A note about this. It's known that Eric and Dylan were part of a bowling club and that they said they imagined their "enemies heads as… the pins" which helped them bowl better. They also liked to yell "Hail Hitler!" every time one of them got a strike- even though Dylan was Jewish. This was one of my favorite chapters from the original story, containing a superb depiction of Andre, Cal, and Rachel, and how those three get along- or don't.**

* * *

The bowling alley came into view as the camera was turned on, taking a brief look around before settling in to look at a dark-haired youth, dressed in jeans and a dark-colored t-shirt with bold white letters spelling KMFDM written on its front, still wearing sunglasses despite being indoors.

"Why are you still wearing your sunglasses inside, Andre?" Calvin asked from behind the camera.

"Because I fucking feel like it, fucktard," Andre answered, sitting down at the bench that was in front of the lane he and Cal had occupied.

"That's not a nice thing to say to someone," Cal said in mock reproach.

"Well, isn't that too fucking bad?"

"Andre…"

"That's my name, all right."

"Well, I'm glad we can both remember what your name is."

"Are you recording this?" Andre questioned as he pulled on his bowling shoes, tossing his sunglasses onto the table. The camera moved up and down, as if nodding. Andre stared, his eyes widening in disbelief. "What- why? Why the hell are you recording this?"

"Why would I not record us going bowling?" Calvin's voice asked from behind the camera, moving it to look around at the surrounding tables. "Every outing is worth recording for posterity, Andre."

"What the fuck- dude, we're bowling! Not writing _War and Peace_!"

Calvin chuckled. "I can't believe you know about _War and Peace_."

"Yeah, just- look- just because I'm not some wine-sipping dick-suck-"

"Language, Andre, language," Calvin chided, turning the camera back toward Andre. The dark-haired teen sighed irritably. "You- you're some kind of freak. You always got some act going on and it drives me crazy. You're not what people think you are."

Calvin laughed, sounding just a little awkward about it. "I, uh, I don't know what you mean. I'm normal and everything."

"Oh, yeah?"

"You're the freak, Andre, not me." Calvin set the camera down on the table, leaning back in a chair, pointing it so that it caught both of them on the screen as it continued to record. The two boys leaned towards each other, each gazing at the camera.

"My name is Andre Kriegman, and I'm better at bowling than anybody else in this alley."

"My name is Calvin Gabriel, and he isn't the best at bowling but he thinks he is."

"Dude. Don't ruin my moment. I'm gonna be famous."

"This isn't your moment, Andre. You're meant for bigger things than bowling."

Andre turned to look at Calvin, seemingly impressed. He nodded slightly. "Well," Andre said, clearing his throat, "it's what I'm meant to kick ass at right now."

"That's sort-of right."

"The hell do you mean, sort of?"

"I mean you have the kind of inflated ego that only Hermann Göring could match."

"If the Reichsmarschall were here, he'd agree with me. He'd be trying to lure me away from Reichsführer Himmler's outfit with an offer of putting me on the fast track to general in the Luftwaffe."

Calvin laughed.

"What?" Andre asked defensively.

"Oh, nothing," the blond said, trying to get the grin off his face. "Your pronunciations are really good, Andre."

"Well, thanks." Andre finished tying up his bowling shoes and stood.

Calvin grabbed the camera, turning it out toward the lanes. "I'm going first. Got a problem with that, Cal?" Andre asked, picking up a bowling ball, and looking over at his friend.

"Nope. Uh, I mean… No, sir," Calvin said, pretending nervousness as he corrected himself.

"That's fucking right," Andre said, nodding to the camera. "You hear that? One day everyone is gonna call me that." He chuckled. "Sir. I like that."

Andre drew his arm back and threw, and Calvin aimed down the lane as the ball rolled. It appeared to be a slow but steady one, going straight for the center of the pin formation, but it began to drift right and went into the gutter.

"Fuck," Andre hissed.

"Bend over," Calvin said.

"Okay, golden-boy. Let's see you do it. Let's see you do better."

"Okay."

Calvin walked over and grabbed his bowling ball. The blond walked over to the lane, staring at the pins hard before swinging his arm back, seeming to be concentrating hard before swinging the ball into the lane.

This ball was going faster, and it stayed on a straighter course. It crashed into the pins just left of center, taking down a good number of them. Calvin nodded, appearing satisfied.

"Yeah, not bad," Andre said. "I threw the first one too slow."

Andre retrieved his bowling ball and threw it again, this time hitting the formation of pins and knocking down five or six of them. He shook his head, still not satisfied, and went past the camera to sit down while Calvin went to take another shot.

As the blond was preparing to do so, Rachel came into view of the camera, looking pleased to see him. "Hey! I didn't know you went bowling here, too! It's great to see you!"

"That's sweet, Rachel; it's great to see you, too. Come on over and join us; I'd just love to spend all day here with you around." Andre's voice- filled with sarcasm- came from a chair behind the camera. The brunette girl looked over. "I was speaking to Calvin…"

"Rachel, I don't really care who you were speaking to. If I speak to you, you listen. Understand?"

The girl was visibly startled at the heat coming into Andre's voice. "Hey, Andre-"

"He's having a little bad luck with his bowling," Calvin said carefully. "It's not you, Rachel. Everything's fine. Really."

"Okay, Cal," Rachel said, casting a wary glance past the camera. "Well, how've you been doing?"

"Not bad. My aim's better if I pretend the pins are people I hate so that's what I've been doing."

Rachel laughed, taking it as a joke. "Cal, that's funny. You're really funny sometimes."

"I aim to amuse." Calvin laughed a little. "Are you here by yourself, or…?"

"No, I came here with some guys from school. I mean, I would've asked you, if I knew you went here."

"It's okay, I'm not offended."

"Nothing ever offends you, Cal. You're pretty calm."

"Just watch me when I get my next gutterball."

"Rachel, that next table open?" a boy called, and Rachel looked in the direction of the voice. "Yeah, Greg, it's open. I know these two guys, we can bowl next to them." Turning back to Calvin, the brunette said, "I gotta go get my bowling shoes. I'll see you in a minute, Cal."

"Sure, Rachel."

Andre gave a derisive huff from behind the camera, but didn't say anything.

Calvin took down the remaining pins in that set with his toss, then came over to Andre. "Come on, Andre, time for the great Andre Kriegman to again attempt the impossible."

"Who said me doing this was impossible?"

"Uh, nobody, but you seem to be having a little trouble with it."

"Yeah, that's just 'cause Rachel's around."

"You were having some trouble before she showed up."

"Yeah, well-"

"Does she… distract you?"

"No!" Andre exclaimed. He lowered his voice as he and Cal walked in front of the camera. "Listen, you know I can't stand her. Why do you keep bringing her around?"

"I didn't plan this, Andre. I didn't know she was going to be here."

"Then ask her to leave. I don't want her around."

"Andre, you know I can't just do that."

Andre sighed, picking up his bowling ball. "Yeah. I sure as fuck wish you would, though. You shouldn't care so much about all this social crap. None of it means anything."

"Okay, okay. Now is the great Andre Kriegman gonna go bowling or what?"

"I'm gonna put everybody else in this place to shame, just you watch."

"Okay, let's watch that, then."

The dark-haired adolescent hefted his bowling ball, taking his place in front of the lane, with its full formation of pins at the end. He drew his arm back, visibly concentrating in much the same way that Calvin had done. He took down most of the pins, but not all.

"I thought you said you were gonna get a strike on the first throw, Andre?" Calvin asked with obvious amusement.

"Fuck you." Calvin laughed as Andre tossed a crunched up piece of paper down, clearly giving up on attempting to write down his score.

"Is it really a good idea to use that type of language with kids around?" Rachel asked from off-camera and to the right. Her disapproving tone made it clear what her expression must surely have been like.

Andre turned her way as he went to retrieve his ball from the machine that brought them back to the players at each table after every throw. "I don't really fucking care, though."

"Hey, Cal, can I see this?" One of the boys _Rachel_ was with asked and _Calvin_ looked over. "Uh, sure, just be careful with it."

"Oh, wanna see me get this shit done?" Andre asked.

"Those last two shouldn't be much of a problem, right?".

"Not on your fucking life." Andre lowered his head, concentrating, as the other boy holding the camera picked it up and moved in for a better look. "Okay, okay…" Andre muttered to himself. "Let's get this shit done." He pulled his arm back and let the ball go partway through bringing it forward. The ball hit with a heavy thud and rolled straight along the polished wooden planks, showing no signs of deviating from its course as it headed for the two remaining pins at the center of the lane.

"Come on, come on," Andre said, looking straight at the ball. The camera turned back to watch the ball just in time for it to hit the pins, knocking them down with that familiar, hollow sound. The strike Andre had been trying for had finally happened.

"Yeah!" Andre shouted, throwing his arms up in celebration. "Hail Hitler!"

 _Calvin_ laughed, seemingly ignoring the words his friend had just yelled. Or he just didn't care. _Did you_ _…_ _did you_ just yell 'hail Hitler'?" the teenager behind the camera asked.

Andre turned, facing the boy behind the camera. "Yeah, so the fuck what? Is there a problem?"

"You're not supposed to say that stuff anymore."

"Well, what I'm 'supposed' to do and what I am gonna do are two different things."

"You still shouldn't say that."

"And who's gonna stop me?" Andre asked. He pointed, raising his eyebrows. "You?"

"Hey, look, man-"

"Andre," Rachel said, coming over. "You can't just yell 'Hail Hitler' in a bowling alley!"

"Seems like I just did," Andre answered with obvious contempt. "I was just explaining that to Dr. Obvious here. What, I gotta explain it to you, too?"

"Do you have _any idea_ how offensive that is, Andre? Millions died because of him."

"Andre isn't harming anybody by yelling a couple of words, Rachel.".

"You can hurt somebody without hitting them," Rachel said. "And yelling 'Hail Hitler' in the middle of a bowling alley is going to bother people. A lot."

"They should toughen up," Andre retorted. "Life's hard."

"Andre, do you really not get why you shouldn't go yelling stuff like that?"

"No, not really."

"Rachel," Calvin said, "this isn't as bad as you think. Andre just said that because he got a strike. It doesn't even mean he's a Nazi or anything."

"Cal, are you hanging out with Andre after this?" Rachel didn't sound happy at the idea, but also sounded like she knew it was probably happening.

"I was going to spend the night with Andre and we were going to _stay up late_ playing _video_ games.".

"What he means is we're going to stay up late playing _violent_ fucking _video_ games where we blow people's fucking heads off," Andre added. "We're gonna kill so many that Hell's gonna run out of room."

"See, dude, this is why people don't like you," the boy behind the camera commented.

Andre's head snapped toward the boy behind the camera. "Shut the fuck up, man! If I wanted your fuckin' opinion-"

"Hey, guys, come on," Calvin said, getting in between them. "Okay, let's all just calm down, all right? Come on, we're not here for this. It's Saturday, we're here to have a good time. Just calm down, everybody."

"And shut that fucking camera off!" Andre ordered. The camera shook, its view becoming jittery and unclear as its holder hastily stepped back; Andre had apparently tried to grab for the camera.

"All right, all right!" the teenager holding the camera said. "Relax."

Then the camera was turned off and the recording ended.

* * *

 **A/N: 5-27-2017. Completed another chapter. I have said this before, but it really is a big help that these chapters are much shorter than the ones I typically write. 20 pages is entirely normal for me now, and these are less than half that. 2,000 words per chapter, give or take, is much easier to replace than the far lengthier chapters I am used to doing. At this point in time, the Word document containing the story is at 44 pages total and over 18,000 words- already, just from 7 rewritten chapters and the titles and pieces and notes for 17 more, this story has exceeded the original word count of 12,799.**

 **If I keep going at the pace I am, of some 1,500-2,000 words-per-chapter, then the final story will amount to around 48,000 words- four times what the original story contained. And remember, the original story word count was increased by maybe a hundred or two hundred by the author's notes and such. So this story is, even with my lengthy author's notes, significantly longer than the original story was. 12,799 words averages out to 533 words per chapter- and some of the original story's chapters may have been that kind of length.**

 **But this is not an exact recreation. It is not possible for it to be. I do not have a copy of the original story to work my own chapters from. I am rewriting the chapters from recovered pieces of each one, but for just short of half of the total number of chapters, I will be rewriting from scratch, having no notes on some eleven chapters at all.**

 **I haven't gone bowling in years and have no idea of exactly how it works, who goes in what order, etc. I based events off this chapter off of the pieces of the original that I had, and just guessed with the rest, and that includes exactly how Andre and Cal's bowling game went and how the game works. The bowling is only really a background thing anyway.**

" **Fuck" and the response "Bend over" is a line between Shapiro and Rand in the Stephen King short story** _ **Beachworld**_ **.**

 **I don't really know if anybody is reading this or not, but the point of the Restoration Series- of all of the stories I have written and will write for Zero Day- is not attention. It is to add something to what the movie gave us, examine some people and ideas more in-depth. Provide additional food for thought. I believe that director Ben Coccio's point was to make us think, and that's my goal with my stories about his movie. Neither myself nor Coccio are doing this out of agreement with Cal and Andre, or their real-life counterparts Dylan and Eric. I do not agree with what they did at all. There is a presence online of people who admire them, even worship them essentially- some in a distinctly unhealthy way. I am not one of those people.**

 **But neither do I subscribe to the popular and comforting but distinctly false theory that people like Andre and Calvin (and Eric and Dylan) are 'born to kill'- that is, that they were born destined to do what they did and thus absolutely no one has any fault or responsibility, not one part of society or schools should change or is even flawed in any way. It is just not true that guys like Andre and Calvin are inhuman demons, put here on Earth with the sole purpose of one day killing their classmates and themselves. But neither is it true that they were total victims, driven to violence by bullying. Were they bullied? I'd say so. Were there injustices at their school? Probably. Were they innocent victims in all this? No. They were not. Whatever the background of their actions may have been, there is ultimately no justification for it.**

 **Point is, neither the "innocent victim" nor the "Hell-spawned demon" theories about Eric and Dylan or Andre and Cal is true. In my opinion, and this is one expressed by Brooks Brown in his book, Dylan and Eric/Andre and Cal were born about as normal as anybody. They got the way they are infamous for being over time, and that- the idea that someone can start out normal and get that way over time- is the scariest thing about events like Columbine and** _ **Zero Day**_ **, and thus the hardest one for people to accept. I'm continuing to work on** _ **Zero Day**_ **stories because I believe the movie to be every bit as relevant and important in 2017 as it was in 2001.**

 **If you read this or any of the** _ **Zero Day**_ **stories currently on this site- mine or someone else's- please leave feedback for us in a review. Even one sentence, a few words, is better than nothing. Some of the people who have bothered to write stories for this obscure fandom and this now-16-year-old movie have worked pretty hard at them, and all of them have put forward an effort most have not bothered to. If you look at any of the uploaded** _ **Zero Day**_ **stories, you will see me walking my talk there- so far as I know, I've reviewed every last one that's online as of today.**

 **Below is all the text I was able to recover from the original story's Chapter 7.**

* * *

 **A/N:** **A note about this. Its known that Eric and Dylan were a part of the bowling club and that they said they imagined their "enemies heads as ...** **the pins"** **which helped them bowl better. They also liked to yell "** _ **hail Hitler**_ **!" every time one of them got a strike-even Dylan who was Jewish.**

 **"You're the freak,** _ **Andre**_ **, not me."** _ **Calvin**_ **set the camera down on the table, leaning back in a chair, pointing it so that it caught both of them on ..**

 **"Are** _ **you recording this**_ **?" Andre questioned as he pulled on his bowling shoes, tossing his sunglasses onto the table. The camera moved up**and down, as if nodding.**

 **"Why would I not record us** _ **going**_ **bowling?"** _ **Calvin's**_ **voice asked from behind the camera, moving it to look around at the surrounding tables ...**

 _ **Calvin**_ **grabbed the camera, turning it out towards the lanes. "I'm going first. Got a problem with that, Cal?" Andre** _ **asked**_ **, picking up a bowling ball, and looking over at his friend. "Nope…**

 _ **Calvin**_ **walked over and grabbed his bowling ball. The blond walked over to the lane, staring at the pins hard before swinging his arm** _ **back**_ **, ...**

 **Andre's voice—filled with sarcasm—came from a chair behind the camera. The brunette girl looked over. "I was speaking to** _ **Calvin**_ **…" "** _ **Rachel**_ **, I ...**

 **to be concentrating hard before swinging the ball into the** _ **lane**_ **.**

 **Those last two shouldn't be much of a** _ **problem**_ **, right?".**

 **"Fuck** _ **you**_ **,"** _ **Calvin**_ **laughed as Andre cursed, tossing a crunched up ...**

 _ **Calvin**_ **laughed, seemingly ignoring the words his friend had just yelled. Or he just didn't care.**"** _ **Did you**_ **…** _ **did you**_ **just yell 'hail Hitler'?" the teenager behind the camera asked.**

 **"Is it really a good** _ **idea**_ **to use that type of language with kids around?**

 **"I really** _ **don't**_ **fucking care though." "Hey, Cal, can I see this?" One of the boys** _ **Rachel**_ **was with asked and** _ **Calvin**_ **looked over. "Uh, sure, just be ...**

 **I was going to spend the night**with Andre and we were going to** _ **stay up late**_ **playing** _ **video**_ **games.".**

 **to stay up late playing** _ **violent**_ **fucking** _ **video**_ **games where we blow people's ...**

 **Andre isn't harming anybody by yelling a couple of** _ **words**_ **, Rachel.".**


	8. Chapter 8- September 20th, 1998

**Chapter 8: September 20, 1998, 5:28PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter is shorter than some of the others, but I have tried to make up for that with some solid content and dialogue from our 'hero', Calvin Gabriel. Just a reminder: the views expressed by characters in this story are theirs, as best I can determine and imagine them, and not my own.**

* * *

The camera was turned on as Calvin held in his hands, instead of its usual place on the dresser on the other side of his bedroom, or his desk close by the bed. It was aimed up at the blond teenager's place face, but he glanced down at it only briefly as he turned it on. Then his eyes wandered, gazing up toward the ceiling of the room.

"Well, yesterday was fun," Calvin said, his ironic smile and sarcastic tone saying he actually considered it anything but. "I had a good time overall, but- ugh- Andre does not mix well with some people. He tries to give you hints to back off, be quiet, stop telling him what to do, but it's like some kids, you gotta hit 'em with a crowbar. It's good we turned off the camera, because Andre started yelling at Rachel and I had to get in the middle and calm everyone down. I managed to, but, I don't think the chances of those two getting along got any better as of yesterday."

"I apologized to _Rachel_ ," _Calvin_ told the camera, rolling his eyes slightly. "I don't know why I had to apologize but apparently what Andre said upset her. She and her group wound up leaving early but I called her later and apologized before I went over to Andre's for the night like me and him had planned. She was pretty worked up about what Andre said, the whole 'Hail Hitler' thing."

Calvin sighed. "I don't really get why it bothered her so much. I mean, it's not like she was locked inside of a concentration camp or anything. They're just words; they don't mean anything. Andre always says things like that; it's just a part of who he is. He's not gonna stop being who he is just because some people don't like it. Isn't being yourself a good thing? Didn't they always tell us that being unique was better than being like everyone else?"

The blond teenager shrugged, half-rolling his eyes. "I mean… that doesn't really make sense though. I kind of get why Rachel and those guys she was with didn't like Andre saying that. But I also get why Andre likes Hitler. I kind of lied to Rachel about that. Andre pretty much is a Nazi. Nobody yells 'Hail Hitler' if they have a problem with Hitler. I mean, remember what I said earlier? What was it, Friday? Yeah. What was so bad about Der Führer anyway? Sure, he rounded up a bunch of people and slaughtered them but sometimes I wish I could do that. Just get everybody in that fucking school in one big room and burn them to death."

Calvin fell silent for a few moments, appearing almost entranced by the idea. "I wouldn't show mercy to any of them. I mean, Andre sometimes talks about how he'd spare these guys, or let the hot girls live, but thing is, those girls wouldn't wanna touch either of us anyway. They're just so stuck up… and besides, if you opened the doors to spare a few people, they'd all try to escape. Better burn them all and just… end it. End them. No more shit, no more social ladder. Just ashes…"

"Maybe I'm just being dramatic- no, I probably I am, but I can't help how I- how I think about stuff… like, I just think about these things and I don't think I choose them the way people think you can. It's like one day I… I think I'm God… and then the next I feel like I'm not in control of anything at all."

Calvin let himself fall back onto is bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm so fucking… like I've got all these feelings and I don't really get all of them, the thoughts, they come into my head but I don't understand them, or why they're there. That's how I am with people, like, with life. I don't understand why they're here, why I'm here. We're just passing through all these rooms, going down hallways. That's what existence is. You keep going and going, searching rooms and hallways and eventually you're content. Or you're not. Maybe it makes sense when we die. Or maybe it just ends."

The blond teenager stayed silent for exactly two minutes, gazing up at the ceiling of his room, before he spoke again.

"I think that if you are lucky- I mean really, really lucky- you will find a real friend like once. Just one who you can trust with anything, who will never turn on you or let you down." He shrugged. "I mean, you can have more friends- I have some- but Andre is like me. Andre is… I keep saying it but I feel like I have to. Andre is so much like me it's amazing. I- that's what I mean when I'm saying you'll make one friend in your lifetime if you're lucky. That's how- I know I've made that friend in Andre. I've found the one friend who is like me and who gets me and who I can trust with anything. Andre and I talked about what it would actually be like to kill someone yesterday. What we'd use. Who we'd do it to. I told Andre about the idea I had of burning the school, how I'd like to lock everyone inside and spare nobody. He liked that idea. He didn't even say anything as I described it, he just stared at me with this kind of smile on his face."

Calvin smiled. "It made me happy that Andre liked that. I mean, we could never do it, you know, like- it'd never work. But… it's nice that we both wish that it could. Andre's starting to try designing some levels for Doom and putting them up. He said he's gonna make one like an exact recreation of our high school. He said he's gonna put all the demons he can in that level and make it hard as shit, but survivable if you're smart and fight the right way…"

"There's things me and Andre have talked about that we know better than to share with people, with our parents. We have no big plan to do anything like-" Cal shook his head. "Nothing like that. But Andre has some dark thoughts and ideas that he shares with me, and I have some I share with him. We know better than to tell anybody. Andre said there's a part of himself he keeps hidden from everyone and, like I said earlier, I know what he means because I do it, too."

Calvin shifted his gaze down to the camera. "You're not going to tell anyone that, though, because you can't talk. You have to keep all my secrets forever, don't you?" Calvin smiled, seemingly satisfied. "I'm glad I can talk to you. I could tell you I was gonna go do what Timothy McVeigh did when I was 11 or 12, you know, back in 1995 when he blew that building all to shit in Oklahoma City."

The blond teenager shook his head a little, his eyes growing distant. He laughed slightly. "Yeah. I remember it on the news. I mean, what I saw before Mom and Dad sent me out of the room. The teachers, the adults- they all talked about it, but they wouldn't really tell us what it was. But I could tell they were scared. They were afraid of whoever did that. And- this is the really amazing thing- I remember, even at that age, thinking: 'Whoever did this must be brilliant. They must be powerful. I bet people won't ever stop being scared of them.'

"And they haven't stopped. I don't think they ever will. People will always be afraid of Timothy McVeigh. I've thought about writing to him where he is in prison, but, then I don't want my parents finding out I tried talking to him. Plus you know they read prisoners' mail. So the cops would probably get called and I'd get in trouble and I don't want that. I guess he has to know some people respect him and even agree with what he did. Me, I just respect the power. That's a powerful act. And it's a powerful person you have to be to do that. You won't ever be forgotten when you do something like that."

"I sometimes wish I was dead but I'd gone out in something like that. Like, either I was the one driving the truck bomb, or I got taken out by it, or both. If the axle of that truck had come flying down and crushed me while I was walking with my parents on the streets of OK City, I'd be remembered and mourned forever. People would miss me and wish I was here. I sometimes think that's a better legacy than I'll actually get."

Calvin paused, considering. "Okay, that sounds like all of the time. I don't know if it's all the time. But it's more than it probably should be. I've felt like I wouldn't really care if I died more and more, even before I knew what the fuck being depressed meant.". He shrugged both shoulders. "I haven't really got many friends. I never did have all that many."

Looking down at the camera again, Calvin smiled slightly. "You're my friend, aren't you? Not as good as Andre is though.." He laughed. "God, I'm talking to you like you're real… I really am losing it now, aren't I? Well, if I'm slipping, I'm keeping that hidden from everyone but Andre. So that's one more secret for you to keep."

Just over a minute of silence followed, and Calvin's mood changed again.

"I don't think Rachel understands what- like, who Andre is, who I am. I don't think that anybody really does, but especially not her, and that's ironic because she's probably closer to having at least some idea of who we are than most of the people that either of us know. She thinks that there's some things I need to fix, and even that Andre needs to fix, and where, like, if we did those things and fixed them, then we'd do better. Or something. I know what she means, but she doesn't see what Andre and I see. There's no need to do that. There's no point. We've both given up trying to fix ourselves because… there's nothing… that we need to fix."

"Anything that's wrong with us, Andre and I can't change, and I don't think we would if we could. We like being the way we are. I don't care what happens if I don't try to 'fix' myself. If I did I'd probably lose Andre, and he's the only reason I haven't killed myself at this point. I think I'm like that for him, too. But sometimes I wonder if either of us is gonna last forever. Whatever gets me and Andre… sometimes I don't think it's gonna be old age. I don't know. I know better than to talk to anyone but Andre about this stuff."

Calvin stared off into his room for almost a minute before he reached down and shut the camera off.

* * *

 **A/N: 5-27-2017. Completed Chapter 8. It may be a while before this gets reviewed- the last one to be reviewed was Chapter 3 or Chapter 4 if I remember correctly- but that doesn't matter, much as I keep mentioning it. Seriously, though, I'm writing this so the readers of this site have a superb Zero Day story back. If I can say I did that to the best of my ability, then that's what matters. This story will be up for far longer than the five years or so than the original was, if I have anything to say about it. And if even one reader appreciates the work I did on it, then, the whole thing was worth it.**

 **This chapter, to my knowledge, is the only one in the original story that was set one day after the previous chapter and was a direct follow-up entry to it. My replacement of Chapter 6, set on Friday, September 18, 1999, was not set on that date originally- to my recollection. But, having to make up the chapter completely, I just set it the day before Chapter 7, creating three linked chapters- 6, 7, 8.**

 **Can you believe some of those author's notes from the original story? I'm not mocking the original author, but seriously. For all the time and effort I have poured into this and the rest of the Restoration Series, it is pretty amazing to me that an apology was included at the beginning of the original Chapter 8 for the chapters being "so short" and that they were described as "just drabbles". In so faithfully and diligently working to rebuild and replace these stories, I have- to my knowledge- consistently exceeded the length of the original work, and have likely put more effort in during this laborious rebuilding project than the original author did in hammering them all out in late 2011 in what the original author described to me once as "a fit of inspiration".**

 **That, then, is why I did not include the original Chapter 8's recovered A/N at the beginning of this rewritten chapter. It would have made no sense to do so because it isn't true this time. These chapters may still be on the short side, but they are longer than the originals (at least on average). And they are NOT "drabbles".**

 **In the recovered A/N of this story, we again see indications of the author's original intention of writing these video diary entries all the way through to May 1, 2001. The original author never did this, but they never changed the story description or removed mention of that goal from the author's notes where it was mentioned. The goal of writing "Calvin's Video Diaries" through to May 1, 2001 just never happened. I suppose that in the long run, I can leave the door open to that. If I wanted to, I could attempt to write the remaining 11 months from April 2000 to May 2001. But at the moment I do not have any intention of doing that. Right now, I'm quite busy with all the writing I am attempting to do. And it will be quite a lot of time and effort to even get the 24 chapters of the existing original story replaced.**

 **I wish the original author had completed this story the way they had meant to, but honestly, the April 2000 ending is fine too. It is a nice ending point, closing the diary entries as Calvin and Andre finally make the pact and begin to plan for Zero Day. It allows the story to work as a prologue for the movie, rather than being a prologue and a parallel work. Since I always liked the way this story was originally set up, the way it covered the first years of Cal and Andre's friendship and the way they began to change and influence one another, I will most likely be keeping it the way it is, writing it through to Chapter 24 and ending it there.**

 **Below, as usual, is all the recovered material I have from the original Chapter 8.**

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry to the people (if any) reading these that these are so short, but they're not meant to be super long anyway... just drabbles. Either way ...**

 **Either way, but the time I'm done with this story (and its going all the way to May 1st, 2001.. its not even 1999 yet so** _ **there's**_ **still a long while to ...**

 **"I apologized to** _ **Rachel**_ **,"** _ **Calvin**_ **told the camera, rolling his eyes slightly. "I don't know why I had to apologize but apparently what Andre said ...**

 **I** _ **mean**_ **, it's not like she was locked inside of a concentration camp or**anything. They're just words; they don't** _ **mean**_ **anything. Andre always says**things** _ **like**_ **that; it's just a part of who he is. "I mean… ... That** _ **doesn't**_ **really make sense though." He sighed ...**

 **Sure, he rounded a bunch of people up and slaughtered them but sometimes I wish I could** _ **do**_ **that.**

 **Just get everybody in that fucking** _ **school**_ **in one big room and burn them**to**

 **"** _ **Maybe**_ **I'm just being dramatic—no I probably am, but I can't help how I ...**

 _ **Calvin**_ **let himself fall back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm so** _ **fucking**_ **… like I've got all these feelings and I don't really get all of them, ...**

 **"I** _ **mean**_ **, you can have more friends—I have some—but Andre is like me.**

 **"** _ **You**_ **'re not going to tell anyone that though, because** _ **you**_ **can't talk.** _ **You**_ **have to keep all of my secrets forever, don't** _ **you**_ **?"** _ **Calvin**_ **smiled ...**

 **"** _ **Okay**_ **that sounds like all of the time.**

 **more, even before I knew what the fuck being** _ **depressed**_ **meant.".**

 _ **Calvin**_ **smiled slightly. "You're my friend, aren't you? Not as good as Andre is though." He laughed. "God, I'm talking to you** _ **like**_ **you're real…**

 **We've both given up** _ **trying**_ **to fix ourselves because… there's nothing ...**


	9. Chapter 9- October 22, 1998

**Chapter 9: October 22, 1998**

* * *

 **October 22, 1998, 9:17PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This is the point where my work on this story changes. The Restoration Series is effectively over. On 10-28-2017, I took the portable hard drive that a friend of mine set up for me when I got a new laptop maybe 2 years ago. He took the shell of the PHD and inserted a SSD (Solid State Drive) I'd bought into the new laptop and the conventional drive into the PHD shell. Anyway. I had assumed it was empty. For well over a year, I kept it in a box, ignoring it, assuming the files I'd had were mostly lost and that I had to rewrite the deleted Zero Day stories from scratch.**

 **I am happy to say I was wrong. Today, I plugged the PHD into my laptop and checked through it, and found the file I'd stored some Zero Day stories other people had written in. I liked the old stories that are covered by the Restoration Series so much that I kept Word files of all of them. Today I found that the files survived after all. They're all here. I will have not even the slightest amount of trouble replacing the remaining chapters of the stories now. I can even rewrite previously-uploaded chapters to make them more similar to the originals. I can also compare original work to my own, and see how well I succeeded in my efforts to replace what I thought was lost forever.**

 **As of 2017, 18 years have passed since 4-20-1999, and 16 have passed since Zero Day's fictional date of 5-1-2001. The stories of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, and of Andre Kriegman and Cal Gabriel, remain as relevant today as they were going on 20 years ago. This is just a fanfiction, just a story, but it is also much more than that. It has a connection to characters who, to me, are almost alarmingly close to real life. That is why I have put so much effort into rebuilding the deleted stories, and why I hope someone reads them and finds something to learn or think about.**

* * *

Calvin came into view as the camera was turned on; he leaned back, sitting away from it on his bed. He sighed irritably, shaking his head.

"So I'm stuck carting my… ugh, my fucking siblings around on Halloween." Calvin groaned, scratching at the back of his head. His pale face contorted with obvious annoyance as he sat on his bed, glaring at the camera slightly. "Like, why the hell do I have to take them? Mom isn't working that day. I have other shit to do and stuff…"

Calvin leaned back against the wall, lightly knocking his head against it. "I guess since it'll only take an hour or two it'll be okay, but it's still annoying. I'm going to be sixteen soon and I'd rather spend Halloween doing stuff that doesn't include… fucking dressing up as some stupid mindless movie character and begging strangers for candy."

"Like, how do we know there aren't razor blades or fucking poison or some shit?" The blond let out a small laugh. "Guess it'd serve everyone right if there was though. Trusting idiots kinda deserve to be killed off if they're going to be so fucking stupid."

Calvin raised his arms above his head, stretching slightly, not really seeming to pay much mind to the things he was saying. "Do you know how often humans do things that make absolutely no sense and then everyone else are like 'where is their common sense'? Except the people who said that just did something equally as stupid and they don't even think about it?"

Calvin stared at the camera, shaking his head in disbelief. "So often that suddenly other people just wish all of human kind would just be wiped the fuck out."

"I don't deny to doing or saying things that are stupid sometimes but it's far less often than that shallow bitch down the street that insults everyone and everything for wearing two different colors at the same time. People like her give humans a bad name—no, actually, you know what? Humans in all give humans a bad name and I'm ashamed of being a part of this species."

Calvin held his head in his hands. "I've got this… fucking headache now just from thinking about humans and all their fucking problems. Shit. Maybe I'm just bitter or something but I can't stop thinking like this and I don't actually want to stop thinking about these things. Someone needs to wake up and notice how awful we are as a species…"

The blond glanced back at the camera, licking his lips a bit. "Humans don't deserve this world. Let the other species take it back." He was silent for a moment. "Yeah… that's all I had to say."

Calvin got up, moved towards the camera, and after a moment turned it off.

* * *

 **A/N: 10-28-2017. With the sudden boon of recovering all of the Zero Day stories I had saved onto my old computer, my work on this project has become a great deal easier. This chapter is pretty much unchanged from the original Chapter 9. It is not exactly the same, however; I have made certain modifications and improvements. One of the things I had forgotten about this author's work is that, magnificent as it was overall, I am actually better (at least I am these days) than they were with grammar and proofreading.**

 **I am NOT claiming this chapter's content as my own, however. Someone else wrote it and this story before I did. But since the author chose to delete their magnificent work and walk away, and I feel the content was too good to lose, I have taken on the task of bringing it back. Thanks to the files I recovered today, I know I will be able to do it. This story will be done by 12-31-2017.**


	10. Chapter 10- October 31, 1998

**Chapter 10: October 31, 1998**

* * *

 **October 31, 1998, 8:29 PM.**

* * *

 **A/N: Chapter 10- Halloween 1998! I'm old enough that I actually *went* trick-or-treating in 1998. Unlike Calvin, though, I was young enough that I was around his younger siblings' age at the time, so I got to enjoy it. Remember- this is almost identical to the old Chapter 10, which was written by someone else. Even in the chapters I have rewritten myself, I have tried hard to imitate and recapture the original author's writing style. What all this means is that you should remember this work is not entirely mine. I am just putting it back. Hopefully I don't get in any trouble. I just think this was and is too good a work to lose.**

* * *

The camera was turned on, aiming down at the ground. It was turned up, aiming at Calvin's pale face, and he nodded, probably noticing the red light blinking to confirm it was on and recording.

"So how do you feel about the fact you had to take your siblings trick-or-treating?" Andre asked after they had dropped Eric and Madelyn off back home and were finally on their own, wandering around the neighborhood.

Calvin pointed the camera at him, a small sigh could be heard coming from the blond. "I don't get why I had to, but I guess it wasn't too bad… at least it was only for an hour and a half and now we could walk around scaring little kids." He chuckled from behind the camera.

Andre let out a loud, barking laugh. "Ha! Take their candy and put a bunch bugs and stuff in it then go handing it back out to kids. Their parents would never let them go trick-or-treating ever again… fuck, am I sorry we didn't do that this time. We totally have to do that next year."

"You are such a mean person, Andre." Calvin was obviously smiling even while saying it. Andre bent over, picking up a stick from the ground, swinging it at Halloween decorations as they walked.

"So? So what? Fine, we'll give it to the fucktards at our school, only we'll slip razor blades into the chocolates instead." Andre turned, looking at the camera thoughtfully. "Be a nice creative way to get rid of our enemies, wouldn't it?"

"Wouldn't it be a bit suspicious if everyone was swallowing razors except for the two of us? Plus, I mean, if they like lived, then they could tell where they got the candy from and stuff and we'd be pretty much screwed as hell."

Andre made a face. "No, man, we'd skip the country before that could happen. Somewhere fucking tropical like… or we could just tell them we didn't touch the stuff. Why would two high school students put razor blades in their classmates' candy? Wouldn't it be too obvious to be us? Nobody would ever suspect us of doing something like that."

"Hmm… probably. We are like… near the top percentile of our class. Strangely, I still don't know how the fuck we're doing that."

"That's cause everybody else are idiots." Andre answered, tossing the branch out into the street.

"True, they really are."

"Yeah…" Andre sighed, glancing at the camera. "Like, if I could I would get rid of all of them…"

There was silence for a moment. "Me, too."

The video ended as the camera was turned off.

* * *

 **A/N: 10-28-2017. Like Chapter 9, this chapter was rewritten with the help of the original document, containing every one of the old chapters I am trying to replace. It is largely copied from the original Chapter 10, honestly, but does have some modifications and improvements, mostly for proofreading and upgrading the overall flow of the chapter.**

 **Below are all the words I was able to recover from the original Chapter 10. The work I did, painstakingly recovering what I could from what was somehow left on the internet after the deletion of the story, is unnecessary now. But I'll keep what I managed to find and display it below. I was originally going to have to write a chapter based off these fragments, as I did many times before.**

* * *

 **"So how do you feel about the fact you had to take your siblings trick-or-treating?" Andre asked after they had**dropped Eric and Madelyn off back home and were finally on** _ **their**_ **own, wandering around the neighborhood.**

 **"I don't get why I had to,** _ **but**_ **I guess it wasn't too bad…**

 ****at least it was**only for an hour and a half and now we could walk around scaring little** _ **kids**_ **.**

 _ **Calvin**_ **pointed the camera at him, a small sigh could be heard ...**

 **Their parents would never let them go trick-or-treating ever again…** _ **fuck**_ **, we**totally have to do that next year." "You are such a mean person,**Andre."** _ **Calvin**_ **was obviously smiling even while saying it. Andre bent over, picking up a stick from the ground,**swinging it at Halloween decorations as**they walked.**

 **Strangely, I still don't** _ **know**_ **how the fuck we're doing that." "That's cause everybody else are idiots." Andre** _ **answered**_ **, tossing the branch out into the street.**

 **We are like… near the top percentile of our** _ **class**_ **.**

 **"No, man, we'd skip the country before that could** _ **happen**_ **.**

 **Somewhere fucking tropical** _ **like**_ **… or we could just tell them we didn't ...**

 **"Wouldn't it be a bit suspicious if** _ **everyone**_ **was swallowing razors ...**


	11. Chapter 11- December 25, 1998

**Chapter 11: December 25, 1998**

* * *

 **December 25, 1998, 9:56PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This was to be the third chapter that I recovered no original text for. Now it is based almost verbatim on the original Chapter 11; quite a reversal. But I am glad to know the day, time, everything and to be able to put back the original, brilliant Chapter 11 just about the same as it was before. Again, this is NOT purely my work. Someone else wrote Chapter 11 and the entire length of "Calvin's Video Diaries" and then deleted it. With that, on to Chapter 11 of 24- Christmas Day in 1998.**

* * *

The camera was turned on and after a second Calvin stepped away from it.

"So, this is probably my last entry in Calvin's Video Diaries until the new year." Calvin stated, looking very comfortable as he sat down on the floor, pillows and blankets surrounding him. "Thought I could enter a bit of… festive cheer.

"Today was…" he paused, tilting his head slightly. "Today actually wasn't all that bad. It felt kind of nice to just forget about everything and be with my family. We opened our presents, went to church, we had a nice Christmas feast. Our aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents all came over tonight to join us for dinner. It was really… crowded. Very crowded and I did feel a little bit uncomfortable at that point, but I hid it well. It was family, not just random people I didn't know."

Calvin sighed, resting his head on his hand. "I'm not really… good with parties. I guess I just don't like a lot of people in one place. I feel awkward enough walking down the crowded hallways at school. When I was little I had to take the school bus and…" Calvin turned a bit red, rubbing the back of his head.

"This is a bit embarrassing, but for about half the year I would cry every time I had to go on the bus because I hated being around that many people. I hated it." Calvin paused. "And if I'm honest, I still do. Not, like, in the same way… but… I still hate it. I really do. I can't stand being on the bus with all those idiots."

Calvin sighed again. "Well, anyway. Doing that when I was little and all… That probably actually didn't help with the bullying I received." He sighed. "When I got old enough, my parents let me walk, but Andre plans to get a car once he gets a job and said he'd pick me up and give me rides, which is pretty awesome of him, actually."

The blond messed with the camera a bit. "Somebody asked me what I want to do after I graduate high school… I didn't know how to answer. I don't even turn sixteen until March—I'm only a sophomore. Why the hell would I be thinking about what I want to do after I graduate high school? Who the fuck cares?" He looked at the camera as if it would answer.

"That question made me realize something, though… when I think about graduation, I can't see myself on that stage. No way. I don't… I can't visualize myself wearing a cap and gown and getting my diploma. Most people can't wait until they get it, but… I don't really care." Calvin gave a small shrug. "I guess I'm just unusual or something, but what should I say?"

Calvin fell silent for a few moments.

"This brings up another thing. I can't see myself out there in the 'real world'. I don't care about what I'm going to do after high school. I don't want a job and I don't really want a family of my own. My family that I have now is enough for one lifetime."

He tilted his head to his right, sighing. "Maybe it has something to do with the fact I want to kill myself? Yeah. Maybe it does. You know?"

Calvin shrugged before giving the camera a smile, waving. "Anyway, that's the end of my festive, cheerful video entry. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night."

After that, Calvin went up to the camera and shut it off, ending the last recording he made in 1998.

* * *

 **A/N: 10-28-2017. There is no recovered text to post below, because I have all of it now. From Chapter 9 on, the chapters of this story will all be written with heavy influence from the original work. This is not my work originally, so remember that. I am uploading this as my own story, but I want it very clear that I am merely working to rebuild and replace a previously-written and now-deleted work. At any rate, take note of how Calvin's commentary is going, what his state of mind seems to be. He's not in the most cheerful state now, but unfortunately, he isn't going to get better. Especially since Calvin, being secretive like he is, has by 1998 learned plenty about how to show the outside world only what he wants them to see.**


	12. Chapter 12- January 13, 1999

**Chapter 12: January 13, 1999**

* * *

 **January 13, 1999, 2:43PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This was to be the fourth chapter that I had to rewrite with no recovered details from the original story. However, there is something else that is significant about Chapter 12, more so than it being the fourth chapter that was to be rewritten from nothing. This is Chapter 12 of 24. With this chapter, "RS7: Calvin's Video Diaries" is halfway to being finished.**

* * *

The room came into view as Calvin turned the camera on. Unlike his usual way of carefully placing it before stepping away, Calvin set the camera down hard, jarring the device and distorting its depiction of him and the room.

"I am going to fucking kill that fucking fucktard with a fucking chainsaw!" Calvin clenched his left hand, banging his head back against the wall. He was shaking in anger, his right arm in a cast. "I'm going to go to his house at fucking midnight and I'm to bring down his whole family into one fucking room and I'm going to make him watch as I kill them before finally fucking sawing him into tiny bits and fucking pieces! I'll see you again, you motherfucker! _I'll get you for this_!"

Calvin looked at the camera, glaring and breathing heavily through his mouth. A bandage hid a cut above his right eyebrow and there were a few scrapes along his cheek. Taking in a deep breath, Calvin forced himself to calm down. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Okay… I'm calm. Kinda."

He clutched at his hair, still glaring. "That fucking… asshole broke my fucking arm. What a wonderful fucking way to start of the fucking new year! I think Andre was about to go bat shit crazy on that mother fucker… I sure as hell would… if my arm wasn't fucking broken!"

Calvin stood up, kicking at something out of the view of the camera. "Fuck! I'm going to kill that asshole… can't believe he broke my fucking arm and is getting the fuck away with it. Shit. God _damnit_!"

The blond collapsed back in front of the camera, finally forcing himself to calm down. "I guess I should… explain what I'm going on about. This fucking idiot named Richard Vergardo—he's like a second Brad Huff except violent—and he's always messing with people. Girls, guys, anybody and I guess today he decided to mess with me. He pushed me into the fucking concrete stairs outside the school and then stepped on my fucking arm and broke it."

"The asshole thinks he can just get away with doing these types of things because nobody will speak up about what he does, but guess the fuck what, Richard Vergardo? You just messed with one of the two people you don't want to mess with." Calvin stared at the camera, blue eyes blazing with fury. "You're owed some fucking payback and it won't be long in coming, I promise you. Richard Vergardo, you're going to rue the day you messed with Calvin Gabriel."

With that declaration made, Calvin approached the camera and reached out it. Two seconds later, it turned off.

* * *

 **A/N: 10-28-2017. At long last, just over 10 months after I first started work on this story on December 10, 2016, "RS7- Calvin's Video Diaries" has reached the halfway mark.**

 **To each and every person who has posted a review of this story: Thank you. It's appreciated. This story has taken a lot of time and effort, especially before I had the original text files to work with. I am glad that a few people have read and appreciate it. When you read these chapters, think about the content of each one. I believe that the point of Zero Day was to make you think, and I have tried hard to replicate how the original author echoed that in this work. I have also done the same- that is, tried to get the audience to think- in my own all-original work for this movie.**

 **Now that I have access to the original works being rebuilt by the Restoration Series, new chapters will be coming much faster. This is not the last we will hear of Calvin Gabriel and his feud with his classmate. It is also far from the last we will hear of this deeply-hidden side of Calvin, the side that never forgives, never forgets, and when provoked is extremely fierce in its anger. Stay tuned.**


	13. Chapter 13- February 16th, 1999

**Chapter 13: February 16th, 1999**

* * *

 **February 16, 1999, 5:47PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This is the fifth chapter I have rewritten since finding the original text files for this story on my portable hard drive. Like the last four, it is near-verbatim to the original. Honestly, I had forgotten the fact that some of the original chapters were actually pretty short. I will be making an effort to add a little to the shorter chapters.**

* * *

Calvin came into view as the camera was turned on. He was out in the back yard of his house, and after looking at the camera a moment, he set it down on a table, the edge of which was just barely visible below the lens.

"So I've been thinking about things I can do to get back at that son of a bitch," Calvin began, glancing around the yard as he spoke. "And you're probably wondering why I haven't just kicked his ass already but there are two reasons as to why I have not done so. Firstly, I don't want to get back at him with any obvious physical altercation because then I'm going to get into trouble." Calvin shook his head slowly, staring at the camera. "We don't want that to happen."

"And secondly is because I want something big. I want to humiliate him and that takes some planning. I've begun thinking of possible scenarios and I've thought of a few I like… Andre has added some ingredients to the pot and he's also going to help me put it into gear."

Calvin grinned. "Isn't it great to have a friend like Andre? Seriously though, it's nice to have someone on my side. As soon as he saw the cast on my arm he said what I was thinking; that we needed to get the motherfucker back and we needed to get him back better than he got me."

"There's a few little problems to this, though. A great plan takes a lot of time to prepare and Richard Vergardo graduates in May… hopefully that won't be too much of a problem. It really shouldn't, but that just means Andre and I are going to have to plan, supply, and put into action before May—hopefully by May first, but we'll see."

Cal fell silent for a few moments, thinking.

"Oh, another good thing," Calvin brought up his right arm. "No more cast. I'm once again a free man from the weight of Plaster of Paris." He clapped his hands once. "That's it for today, folks. Next time I talk to you, Andre and I would have our plan at least partially formed. We'll find a way. We're gonna get Richard Vergado, as promised. Just you wait."

Calvin smiled, savoring his words. Then he reached behind the view of the camera and ended the recording.

* * *

 **A/N: 11-1-2017.**

 **Below is the original text I had recovered to rewrite this chapter with. It is no longer needed, but I decided to leave it here to remind myself of the amount of effort I put in to rebuilding this story even when I didn't have the original files to work with. This story was completely worth the effort, however.**

* * *

 _ **Calvin**_ **grinned. "Isn't it great to have a friend like** _ **Andre**_ **? Seriously though, it's nice to have someone on my side. As soon as he saw the cast on**my arm he said what I was thinking; that we ... to get the motherfucker**back and we needed to get him back better than he got** _ **me**_ **.**

 **"And you're probably wondering why I haven't just kicked his ass already but** _ **there**_ **are two reasons as to why I have not done so. Firstly, I don't**want to get back at him with any obvious physical altercation because then I'm going to get into** _ **trouble**_ **."** _ **Calvin**_ **shook his head** slowly, staring at the camera. "We don't want that to happen. **And secondly is because I want something big. I want to humiliate him and that takes some** _ **planning**_ **. I've begun thinking of possible scenarios ...**

 **"Oh, another good thing,"** _ **Calvin**_ **brought up his right arm. "** _ **No**_ **more cast. I'm once again a free man from the weight of Plaster of Paris.**

 **It** _ **really**_ **shouldn't, but that just means Andre and I are going to have to plan, supply, and**put into action before May- hopefully before May first, but**

 **A great plan takes a lot of time to prepare and**Richard Vergardo graduates in May… hopefully that** _ **won't**_ **be too much of a problem.**


	14. Chapter 14- March 20th, 1999

**Chapter 14: March 20, 1999**

* * *

 **March 20, 1999, 8:03PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This was going to be the fifth chapter that had to be rewritten from nothing. Like the others, it was entirely unrelated to the original chapter by its title apart from basic details. It was set in 1999, since 13 and 16 are, but that was all I knew. Now, it is the authentic Chapter 14, brought back again. These remarks about which chapter was gonna be written from scratch, which chapter was gonna have some resemblance to the old one, are not really necessary now. But I feel like keeping them on hand, because it's nice to remember what this project was before I made the big breakthrough and found the original documents. I was largely making do before. I'm replacing a story now.**

* * *

"So… tomorrow I turn sixteen." Calvin began, holding the camera still so that it was pointed at his face. "I'm not sure exactly how I feel about that. It's kinda mixed feelings if I'm completely honest. On one hand, okay yeah, I've known that this day would be coming since the day I turned fifteen—earlier than that really, but you guys know what I mean, right?

"Anyway, we're having a party and all sorts of games and shit and I'm not looking forward to it one bit. Cake, burgers, all of my closest friends." Calvin rolled his eyes. "Friends include Andre—of course, Rachel, and a few other of my old friends who I do talk to from time to time but I think they're mostly coming for free food and cake. Whatever, fine with me. I don't care either way."

Calvin set down the camera, rubbing at his arms. "Our plan is coming under way just fine… I won't say what it is cause I don't want to jinx it, you know."

He bit down on his lip, resting his head on his arms. "I just… doing this type of thing really feels… a bit empowering. Here I am, just a measly little white, skinny, blond sophomore boy and I'm about to humiliate this huge, brute-ish senior."

The blond tilted his head, looking as if he was about to start laughing a bit. "Most people would probably feel scared or intimidated in my place. Most people probably wouldn't even think about doing what I'm going to do in the first place, but… I'm not scared. I'm anything but scared. I'm excited. I'm ready."

"I'm not like those wimps. I'm not… I'm above them and I don't care how many fucking people criticize me or insult me because they're morons. They sit in their nice little houses pretending that everything is okay. The worst thing they have to worry about is winning fucking homecoming or being head cheerleader and here I am, knowing that humanity is fucked.

"It's been fucked since the beginning of time, honestly. We shouldn't… we don't deserve living here. We're ruining this planet and we deserve to be destroyed." Calvin ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head. "I don't care how awful that sounds because it's true."

His blue eyes met with the lens of the camera, staring straight into them. "Do you know how beautiful a world without humans would be? It would be natural… and there would be no rules or laws that we live by. The things that people call "morals" wouldn't exist because there is no morality in nature. Who are those people to say what is right or wrong? What makes us so special?"

"Morality is an opinion that some god damned righteous idiot said was the law of human kind. Well guess what. Humans are animals too. We're a part of the animal kingdom and we should live by the rules of that kingdom, not by the rules of man." Calvin gave a small shrug. "Survival of the fittest, I suppose. Andre taught me these things and… I have to agree with him.

"I mean… how can you not agree with him?"

* * *

 **A/N: 11-3-2017.**

 **As usual since late October 2017, the chapter is largely all-original except for a few edits from me. Remember this whole story was not my idea or my work. I'm just replacing a story that someone else wrote, uploaded, and then deleted. Chapters 1-8 are the ones that consist of my words, based off the other person's as best I could. Chapters 9-24 will be much more the original author's work, because of the much higher original content present.**

 **Calvin Gabriel is a fascinating character. I am always impressed with that, whenever I read about him or write about him, or watch him in the movie. He is almost completely different from Andre Kriegman, and yet, he is genuinely best friends with Andre and chooses to carry out Zero Day beside him. That's because beneath the gentle, thoughtful exterior, Calvin has changed over the years. At some point, he began to feel lonely. He started to withdraw. Then he became angry, then self-hating. The anger built and grew, and Calvin, in his own words, "[locked] it inside" and "[kept] it from everyone." The result was that the decent, wonderful person Calvin once was had been utterly destroyed by May 1, 2001 in the movie. All that remained was the shell, the image of who he had been that Calvin still knew how to keep up. Calvin is not there yet at this point in 1999, but he is descending to a moral event horizon, a point from which he will never return. That's not especially uplifting, but anyone who has seen the movie knows this does not end well.**

 **To every single person who has reviewed or will review this story- THANK YOU. I cannot say it too much. I have put hours of hard work into my own original ZD stories, and countless more hours into rebuilding the 8 deleted stories that I decided I was not going to let go. Reviews are rare on this site, and they are almost nonexistent in small fandoms like Zero Day. Those few who bother to leave feedback are, always, welcome to say anything they please. They can praise and criticize as they see fit. So to everyone who has done so, and I'll admit, to all who have thanked me for doing this work, I want to say, in the words of Will Turner, "A craftsman always likes to know his work is appreciated."**


	15. Chapter 15- April 20th, 1999

**Chapter 15: April 20, 1999**

* * *

 **April 20, 1999, 11:17AM**

* * *

 **A/N: This was to be the sixth "blank slate" chapter, one which I was unable to recover any details on and had to redo completely. Instead, I have the real thing, modified and improved and available once again for visitors and members of this site to read.**

* * *

The camera was turned on and not even a second later, Calvin moved away from it, falling back as if getting up to activate the camera had cost him a great deal of energy. Calvin groaned, holding his head in his hand. The blond was pale and sweating, his eyes and nose both red. He sniffed, giving a few light coughs.

"If you couldn't tell… I'm sick. Mom made me stay home. Apparently I have a temperature of 101 degrees. God, I hate being sick. It's so… disgustingly human." He made a face, falling onto his side and burying his head in his pillow as he did so.

"I felt like today was supposed to be such a good day too and then I woke up with a fucking… stuffed up nose, sore throat, and a fucking fever." Calvin groaned, clutching at his hair. "And a headache… I don't normally get sick around this time. Actually, I hardly ever get sick but for some reason I got sick. I feel like coughing my fucking lungs up."

Almost as if rehearsed, Calvin started coughing violently, hands clutching at his pillow. "Andre and I were supposed to put our finishing touches on our plan for Vergardo today, but I guess that's not going to happen until this weekend, hopefully sooner. I'll kill something if I'm not better by Friday, fuck."

Sighing, Calvin sat back up, running his hand over his face. "School's going to end soon. It's crazy to think I'm going to be a junior come September. I'm almost done with high school and I don't even really care. I guess… I should start looking at colleges next year, even if only for my parents. They'd kill me if I decide I don't want to go to college and maybe it won't be so bad… maybe. It probably will be absolutely horrible though. Maybe Andre and I can go to the same place."

"You guys probably think I'm like… dependent on Andre or have a crush on him or something." Calvin gave a small laugh. "But it's not like that at all, we're not like that. It's just, he's the first friend that I fully call a friend and—despite what people would try to tell me—I know I'm never going to find another friend like Andre. We just have so much in common, we're so much alike and only the two of us actually see it. It's really cool, like we're a secret group, just the two of us."

He glanced down before looking back up, tilting his head to the side a bit. "Is it really bad to have a friend like that? I think people should feel lucky to have a friend like Andre. He doesn't take shit from people and he says it like it is. He's one of a kind and I want to be more like that—and I'm going to be more like that. The two of us… we have a future ahead of us that no one else has… you couldn't have it even if you wanted it."

Seeming to have gained strength from that statement, Calvin got up and reached for the camera, and after a moment turned it off.

* * *

 **A/N: 11-5-2017.**

 **I hope I'm not overdoing it with the author's notes. But given how much time and effort has gone into this whole series of replacement stories, I figured it would be best to document the process so anyone who cares to read all of it can know how it happened. Plus, it's a good chance to comment about the story or characters at certain times.**

 **Notice that Chapter 15 is set on April 20, 1999- and at 11:17AM? Here's an author's note from the original Chapter 15 on this issue: "So... April 20th, 1999 at 11:17 AM was the scheduled time for the first propane bomb to go off in the cafeteria in Columbine High School of Littleton (Columbine), Colorado... Of course, that didn't happen in this! But I thought I would place this one during that day at that time."**

 **April 20, 1999 is just another day in the universe of Zero Day. Nothing happened that was all that out of the ordinary. Why didn't the massacre happen at Columbine High School? Unknown. Maybe Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold got caught before the act in Andre and Cal's world, and thus no one in Zero Day's universe has heard of them. Maybe Eric and Dylan didn't ever meet. Maybe they never existed at all. Whatever the reason, in the fictional universe where the Zero Day massacre happened, Columbine never did. We know this beyond a doubt for one reason: if it had, Andre and Cal would have talked about it.**


	16. Chapter 16- May 3rd, 1999

**Chapter 16: May 3rd, 1999**

* * *

 **May 3rd, 1999, 4:02 PM**

* * *

Calvin turned on the camera and adjusted it a bit before stepping back. He looked healthy and in a pleasant mood- a significant change from the last entry.

"I have just a couple of things to say on this lovely day of May 3rd, 1999." Calvin began, his lips turned up into a smile. The corners of his lips twitched slightly, almost as if he wanted to smile even wider, but he was holding himself back for some unknown reason. "The first thing I want to say is that you no longer can mess with Calvin Gabriel and get away with it.

"The second thing is mission successful!" He grinned, thrusting his fist into the air as he let out an excited yelp. He grabbed the camera, letting himself fall back onto the bed. "Damn, I wish I had videotaped it but I didn't think it would be a good idea in case someone found it but… shit!" he laughed, closing his eyes.

"This adrenaline rush is so… amazing. The look on Richard Vergardo's face is going to be one that I will never get out of my head—I don't ever want to forget that look of horror and humiliation. Everybody was laughing their asses off and Vergardo deserved that. He's humiliated me and now… I humiliated him back—worse than he's ever humiliated anyone."

Calvin opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling, now calming down slightly. "Well shit… I think Andre and I are going to need to come up with another brilliant plan sometime because… that was the most fun I have ever had. Planning that was like… amazing. So much detail and so much time put into that one small thing and yet it was worth it. It was fucking worth it.

"I want to do something bigger but I'm not sure what yet. Something that will leave its mark so deep that people will never forget it… and it'd be fucking… the most beautiful thing in the world. Something poetic, maybe a bit tragic." He smiled. "It'd take awhile to plan, definitely a lot longer than it took Andre and I to plan this little prank. We'll see if I figure something out. I don't know. Maybe Andre will want to do it with me though; I think that would be a lot more fun than doing something by myself.

"Maybe the two of us should get like a group name just for us two. That'd be awesome." Calvin laughed, closing his eyes. "I like this feeling."

Calvin lay there for a while, seeming to forget the camera was there. Eventually, the recording ended as he turned it off.

* * *

 **A/N: 11-7-2017.**

 **The story will be updated 1 chapter every day until Chapter 24 is reached, so this story will be completed in 8 more days, on 11-15-2017. It is the last story in the Restoration Series. I am glad to have completed the project entirely within 12 months. Once it's done, I will have only one story left to do on "Zero Day", but I may take a break for a while before I update that. Given how much I have done in this archive in the past 11 months, I figure I can take some time off if I want to. Plenty of ZD stories up for people to read at this point. 35! I never imagined it'd get to that number. Another 5 and we'll have 40, an unimaginably high number for a fandom that seemed destined to stay at 10-20 when I found it 6 years ago.**

 **Notice that Calvin does not say exactly what was done to take revenge on Richard Vergado. This was, I am sure, deliberate on the part of this story's original author. They wanted to leave the exact form of Calvin Gabriel's revenge on Richard Vergado to be left to the reader's imagination. Calvin doesn't get into the details because, while he could easily tell them, he knows them perfectly well. He feels more like celebrating the success of the plan than reliving the precise details of how it happened.**

 **Below is the text I had recovered and was going to use to rebuild this chapter with, before I found the original text files and had all of it on hand.**

* * *

 **"I have just a couple of things to say on this lovely day of May 3rd, 1999."** _ **Calvin**_ **began, his lips turned up into a smile.**The corners of his lips twitched slightly, almost as if he** _ **wanted**_ **to smile even wider, but he was ...**

 **I are going to need to** _ **come****_ **up with another brilliant** _ **plan**_ **sometime because… that was the most**** _ **fun**_ **I have ever had.**

 **"The first thing I want to say is that you** _ **no**_ **longer can mess with** _ **Calvin**_ **Gabriel and get away with it. "The second thing is mission successful!**

 _ **He**_ **grinned, thrusting his fist into the air as** _ **he**_ **let out an excited yelp.**

 **I humiliated** _ **him back**_ **—worse than he's ever humiliated anyone."** _ **Calvin**_ **opened**his eyes, staring up at the ceiling, now calming down slightly.**

 **The look on** _ **Richard**_ **Vergardo's face is going to be one that I will never get out of my head—I don't ever want to forget that look of horror and ...**

 **and it'd be fucking… the most beautiful thing in the** _ **world**_ **.**

 **"Damn, I wish I had videotaped it but I didn't think it would be a good** _ **idea**_ **in case someone found it but… shit!" he laughed, closing his eyes.**

 **He grabbed the camera, letting himself** _ **fall**_ **back onto the bed.**

 **"I want to do something** _ **bigger**_ **but I'm not sure what yet.**

 _ **So much**_ **detail and** _ **so much**_ **time put into that one small thing and yet it was worth it.**


	17. Chapter 17- June 5th, 1999

**Chapter 17: June 5th, 1999**

* * *

 **June 5, 1999, 10:41AM**

* * *

 **A/N: This was going to be the seventh completely rewritten chapter; I didn't have one word from the original Chapter 17. Now that I have access to the full extent of the original work, I can base it off the original Chapter 17 just as closely as I like. From Chapter 9 on, the date and time of every chapter in this story is exactly as the original story specified, apart from only a few edits from me.**

* * *

Calvin came into view as he turned on the camera, then flopped back on his bed like the effort had exhausted him.

"Today is the first official day of summer vacation," Calvin began, still looking as if he was trying to wake up from the night's before sleep. "Big deal, I know. And while yesterday was only a half day at school—thank God—it still doesn't provide the freedom that summer vacation spells out for you. If you're still in jail, you're still in fucking jail. You know what I mean?"

"I've got a lot of plans for this summer, but none are really… Andre and I are going to hang out a lot, I'll probably hang out with Rachel a little, and then my family will likely go camping for a couple of days because that's what we usually do each summer. A break from the prison that is school until I have to go back there in September, but well… you know…" he gave a small shrug. "I'm used to going to school by now. I guess that means I've gotten used to the prison, to the routine and all. But they haven't gotten to me. I'm still Cal. Whatever that means."

Calvin looked at his hand, messing with the nails on his fingers. He didn't seem to be paying any attention to the camera anymore, and instead was falling into the routine of just talking. "I guess… closer to junior year is a good thing. Means I'll be getting out of school in just a few short—but still horribly long—years. That's good for me, good for Andre, probably good for everyone actually. I mean, you know, it's summer of 1999 now, Andre and me're supposed to get out of high school in 2001. Two years but it feels like a lot more. Yeah. It'll probably be good when that happens."

"Except it's different for me than for everybody else. I'm not looking forward to getting out of high school because I want to go to college or get away from my parents and family." Calvin shook his head, giving a small laugh. "Those reasons seem so… small, don't they? They're huge reasons and I know that, but to me they seem… miniscule. Unimportant like every human on this planet. Like, who cares what I wanna do or who I wanna get away from? Nobody cares because none of it's important."

Calvin tilted his head, looking at the camera seriously. "You're unimportant. I'm unimportant. Everybody in this town and in this city and in this world are unimportant in the long run. Sure, maybe what the idiots over in Washington do makes a difference in the long run, but only for humanity and well, humanity is unimportant, so why should I care?"

The blond brought his hands to his head. "It's like this; we're all going to die out sooner or later—hopefully sooner—so why is everyone bothered by fucking stupid things? It doesn't make sense. Let them live their life and… you can live yours until it's your time. It's really the only smart thing to do, isn't it? Although, if I had my choice, they'd all have their end sooner rather than later."

He gave a laugh, looking off to the side and down. "I think I'm just fucked up…" Calvin gave a tiny smile. "But that's okay with me. Is it okay with you?"

After staring at the camera for almost twenty seconds, seriously seeming to wait for a reply, Calvin got up and reached to shut the camera off. At the last second he paused, and added in a low whisper the microphone almost didn't catch, "And between you and me, the best thing about Andre is that deep down, I think he's just like me. I think we're both pretty fucked up. It's fine. I'm just glad I've got him as a friend."

Calvin and his bedroom disappeared as he turned off the camera, ending the recording.

* * *

 **A/N: 11-8-2017.**

 **Calvin is quite a well-developed character, in my view. And a distinctly tragic one. He wrestles with depression, with anger and bitterness, and with disappointment that life has not turned out to be what he feels he was promised. He is increasingly withdrawing from the world, and relying on no one but himself and Andre. That won't lead him anywhere good, but… that's where he's going.**

 **This is meant to be an exploration of how he turned into who and what he was by the time of May 1, 2001. Not a story of how any of it turns out well. But, as I said before, anyone who has seen the movie knows how this all ends.**


	18. Chapter 18- August 29th, 1999

**Chapter 18: August 29th, 1999**

* * *

 **August 29th, 1999, 10:07 PM.**

* * *

The camera was turned on and Calvin aimed it at himself, adjusting it some before sitting down on his bed again.

"So, as usual, I haven't put in an entry since the beginning of summer." Calvin ran his fingers through hair, looking just a little bit older than the last time he had made a video entry. "I've been doing things practically every day since school ended. It's been a lot of fun, actually, and I'm almost excited for school to start back up again."

"Not because I'm looking forward to school, though. No, I hate school as much as I ever have. I mean- it's always gonna be that way. It isn't going to change. That's how I'm used to it, and that's just how it's gonna be forever. Nothing will ever change the fact that I hate school."

"Anyway," Calvin continued, shifting where he sat to get more comfortable. "I've got this weird feeling in my stomach. I've had it for a while now but I thought it would pass, except it's just growing stronger and stronger with each day. I don't know what it is, maybe I have cancer or some shit like that, but all I know is that… something is going to happen this year. Something is going to change for me this year."

"I don't know when. It could be next June for all I know, but sometime this school year, I think something will happen. Good, bad, whatever, just something big. Maybe it's the fact that I'm going to be a junior in high school here in a couple of days, like, maybe it's got me thinking that this big thing is gonna happen when it's really just fucking 11th grade. But… somehow… I don't think so. For me, being a junior isn't really anything special. It just means that much more responsibility in trying to find a college and figure out… what I want to do for the rest of my life."

Calvin sighed, resting his arms on his legs as he swallowed, looking down at the comforter of his bed. "Don't get me wrong… it's not like I hate everything about life. There's games, movies, music, and foods that I like. There are a few people I really like and I'm glad I've gotten the chance to know them. It's just… hm. It's hard to explain. The only way you'd understand is if you felt the same way as I do."

The blond sat in silence for a few moments, thinking.

"Except, nobody really feels the same way as I do. I mean, nobody. Andre is the closest that I've ever heard of and even he… he doesn't feel exactly like I do. I think he's mostly angry and… yeah. That, like, _defines_ Andre. More than anything else I can think of. Andre is always angry. Always. Fucking _always_. He's angry at school, at the rich kids, the jocks, the girls… especially the hot girls. Like, the preppy ones, the cheerleaders and shit. I guess he hates 'em 'cause they won't give him even one glance. Anyway, if it's not any of that, he's angry about his parents, or homework, or life. He's fucking angry all the time and I-I don't know. I'm not sure if we're that similar after all. Sometimes I wonder about that. But…"

Calvin cocked his head to one side, thinking. "I gotta be honest about this, though. I guess I am a bit angry too. Sometimes I feel like I'm actually angrier than Andre, like, _way_ angrier. He actually keeps from doing something crazy because he lets it out. He vents it. I keep it locked inside. I mean, God help people the day I let it out if it's there like I think it is. God fucking help them. If there is a God. I do the same thing with- I mean- I hide how depressed I am. I never let anyone see it, except, I dunno, maybe Andre I guess. In general I'm so angry and I'm depressed and I…"

Calvin lightly tapped his thumb against his lips before sighing again. He sat there for a few moments before getting up and shutting off the camera.

* * *

 **A/N: 11-9-2017.**

" **Andre is always angry." That pretty much sums it up, doesn't it? The decent person Andre started out as has disappeared even quicker than is the case for Calvin. But remember, underneath it all, Calvin is really in no better shape, mentally or morally, than Andre is.**

 **Notice that Calvin will go for periods of time where he just doesn't bother to update the video diary. And, in this case, he just gives up and ends it without any real conclusion.**

 **Below are the fragments of the chapter that I recovered and intended to use to rewrite the chapter, before I found the original documents on my portable hard drive and used them to rebuild the story the rest of the way.**

* * *

 **"So, as usual, I haven't put in an entry since the beginning of summer."** _ **Calvin**_ **ran his fingers through hair, looking**just a little bit older than the last time** he had made a** _ **video**_ **entry.**

 **"I've been doing things practically**every** _ **day**_ **since school ended. It's been a lot of** _ **fun**_ **, actually, and I'm almost excited for school to start back up**

 **It just means that much more responsibility in** _ **trying**_ **to find a college and ...**

 **In general I'm so** _ **angry**_ **and I'm depressed and I…"** _ **Calvin**_ **lightly tapped ...**

 **I don't know what it is, maybe I have cancer or some** _ **shit**_ **like that, but all ...**

 **That's how I'm used to it, and that's just how it's gonna be** _ **forever**_ **.**

 **I've had it for awhile now but I thought it would pass, except its just growing stronger and stronger with each** _ **day**_ **. I don't** _ **know**_ **what it is, maybe I ...**


	19. Chapter 19- October 1st, 1999

**Chapter 19: October 1st, 1999**

* * *

 **October 1, 1999, 5:19PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This was supposed to be the eighth chapter I rewrote completely from scratch, with only the year- 1999- being the same as the original. Now I have everything. I know I keep mentioning that in the notes, but after almost a year of working on this with either fragments or nothing at all of the old story, it has all suddenly gotten a LOT easier. Now, I take the original chapters and add to them and improve them. Honestly, I forgot how short so many of the original story's chapters were. So I'm going to try to lengthen them some, make them a little more substantial.**

* * *

Turning on the camera and moving away from it, Calvin dropped his bag on the floor in front of the camera before taking a seat, leaning back against his bed. "Just got back from the book store and I found something so… fucking cool. It's not lame book, don't worry. As if I'd read books that schools push at you. Most of them suck anyway. From time to time there's a good one like _Lord of the Flies_ —that had to be the best book I've ever read, for school or not."

He cleared his throat, unzipping his back. "Anyway, the book I got has a lot of interesting information in it. Possibly useful information—well, maybe not useful unless you plan to get one but still…" Calvin pulled the book out, holding it up in front of the camera. "Assault Weapons. Best. Fucking. Book. Ever."

"This book tells you everything about them. Makes me want one. Sadly that will probably never happen, but this book should be like… a god of all gun books. I had to buy it even though I don't think my parents would like me having it, but they don't actually need to know, do they? It's not like I can take the gun out of the book and use it or anything. That would be super cool if I could though… but I can't. So it's not like I'm doing harm or anything."

The blond flipped through the pages. "People assume just because a teen gets his hands on a book or a game or some heavy metal rock music we're all going to kill somebody…" his voice lowered to a murmur. "They don't really realize that it's probably not what makes those people do something like that. Not even… it's not even a factor. Not really.

"I mean, if I was to kill somebody, I doubt some stupid game is what made me want to do that. It's a game, that's all it is, but I guess some people just like to look for something to point the finger at." He sighed. "It's really stupid… then again, people can be really stupid. They don't like to admit it, but they spend more than half their lives being morons; not noticing what's right in front of their face.

"Or wanting to deny it. Hide it." Calvin shook his head. "I don't really understand others… I guess I don't really want to either."

After sitting there for about twenty seconds, Calvin got up and turned off the camera.

* * *

 **A/N: 11-10-2017.**

 **Calvin has found something he likes, something that he will not be forgetting about- literally, never for the rest of his life. The way he brightens up upon finding this book is notable to say the least. It won't be the last time he takes an interest in firearms.**


	20. Chapter 20- November 19th, 1999

**Chapter 20: November 19th, 1999**

* * *

 **November 19, 1999, 5:23PM**

* * *

Calvin turned on the camera and stepped away from it. He looked at it, making sure it was set where he wanted it, then went back to his bed and sat down.

"Okay, so sorry I haven't put in an entry in over a month—again—but this time I have a good reason. I've been grounded for the last month for getting in a fight during a field trip to the _science museum_ of all the fucking places." Calvin groaned, fingers clenching at his hair as he clenched his eyes shut. "It's not even my fault. The guy… I snapped. I know I should have kept myself in control but you can only do that so many times…"

"It won't happen again though, I just… had to release that anger I guess. God, I'm still so angry though. I'm tired of people messing with me but they just seem to keep on messing with me and messing with me. They mess with Andre too, but he never holds back his anger—although he usually takes it out on inanimate objects, not the person he's angry with. I mean, good thing, too, 'cause if he did the opposite… nobody would forget what Andre did to them. Not in a thousand years."

"Thankfully, he's never really been angry with me. I mean, sure, we've had disagreements before and arguments but usually they're over just as quick as they started. Neither of us ever says sorry, we just prove to each other that we trust each other in some ridiculous fucked up way." Calvin chuckled, looking up at the ceiling.

"You know, it's amazing how much I've changed. People don't tend to notice how much they change except when they think about what they were like when they little and I… was a lot different than I am now. Yet, somehow I'm still the same person… just older. I've got more serious things on my mind then… race cars and action figures." He tilted his head.

"Now I'm just thinking about how much longer I'm going to live—hoping it's not as long as other people hope they live… I don't want to live a long time. It sounds… horrible. Unbearable. Some people want to live forever and I just have one question to ask them; why? What's the point in living forever? I think that sounds awful. Probably the worst punishment I could ever have would to be immortal, unable to die no matter what.

"I don't like that thought… I'd rather just kill myself then live to even see my twenty-first birthday. Why live so long when the world that you're living in doesn't welcome you and is horrible as well? It doesn't make any sense, it doesn't… it doesn't compute in my mind. I just don't see the point in torturing myself by living for a long time.

"And it would be torturing me, don't make any mistake about that… I don't want to live to next year let alone… sixty years from now." Calvin shook his head. "I must just be weird, but you know what? I'm okay with that."

* * *

 **A/N: 11-11-2017.**

 **This was a particularly interesting chapter for me when I first read it. I was impressed with the original author, to say the least. Remember I'm rewriting a story somebody else came up with from scratch. I've had help the whole way, in that sense. But the original author, they had to do this all on their own, come up with this whole story on their own. Right down to the date and time, they did it, and I never saw anything so authentic written about this movie. It's great to be giving this chapter back to the website.**

 **As you can see below in the fragments of the original Chapter 20 that I saved and intended to use before recovering the entire story, the old author did not, shall we say, take this as seriously as their excellent work sometimes suggested. That little A/N they threw in never struck me as funny or appropriate. I included it, but only because it was one of the pieces of the original chapter I had managed to save when I was grabbing anything I could.**

 **A/N: So,** _ **Calvin's**_ **rambles always seem to go in how he wishes he would just DIE. Hm. Well then. Suits him. November 19th, 1999 5:23 PM.**

 **"** _ **Okay**_ **, so sorry I've not put in an entry in over a month—again—but this time I have a good reason.**I've been grounded for the last month for getting in a** _ **fight**_ **during a field trip to the science museum of all places."** _ **Calvin**_ **groaned, fingers ...**

 _ **Calvin**_ **groaned, fingers clenching at his hair as he clenched his eyes shut. "It's not even my fault. The guy… I snapped. I** _ **know**_ **I should have**kept myself under control but you can only do that so many times…**

 **... were like when they little and I… was a lot different** _ **than**_ **I am now.**

 **takes it out on inanimate objects, not the person he's** _ **angry**_ **with.**

 **I'd rather just** _ **kill**_ **myself then live to even see my twenty-first birthday.**

 **"It** _ **won't**_ **happen again though, I just… had to release that anger I guess. God, I'm still so angry though. I'm tired of people messing with me but** they just seem to keep on messing with me and messing with me.**

 **I've got more serious things on my** _ **mind**_ **then… race cars and action ...**

 **They mess with** _ **Andre**_ **too, but he never holds back his ... Some people** _ **want**_ **to live forever and I just have one question to ask them; why? ... Why live so long when the world that you're living in** _ **doesn't**_ **welcome you and is ...**

 **"Now I'm just** _ **thinking**_ **about how much longer I'm going to ...**

 **It doesn't make any** _ **sense**_ **, it doesn't… it doesn't compute in my mind.**


	21. Chapter 21- December 11th, 1999

**Chapter 21: December 11th, 1999**

* * *

 **December 11, 1999, 11:07AM**

* * *

 **A/N: This was the ninth chapter I recovered zilch on and was going to rewrite entirely. Not necessary to do that now. So what you're reading is about the same as the original, with some added improvements from me.**

* * *

Calvin turned the camera on and headed back to sit on his bed. He waited almost a minute before speaking, and when he did, it was in a quiet voice, almost too quiet for the camera's microphone.

"In less than a month it's going to be the year 2000. It'll be a new century as well as a new decade. Big fucking news flash there, I know. Still." Calvin rested his head on his hands, staring off past the camera's view. "I kinda wonder what's going to happen in this new decade… if anything exciting is going to take place. Probably not, but I can hope right?"

Calvin shrugged.

"Not that I care all too much, really. I don't really care all too much about current events… or past events. I mean, I guess wars can be really interesting, and then like… super tragic events—tragic depending on how you look at them. I don't really see anything as tragic too much, maybe that's a little bit weird. But like… have you ever heard of that school massacre in that Canadian polytechnique school? That was like ten years ago or something. 1998- I mean, 1988- or 1989. Something like that. I've heard about it and I looked it up and this is horrible but every time I do I laugh."

Calvin lightly hit his head against his hands, holding back his laughter as he spoke. "I'm sorry but it's funny! The guy went to the school and killed fourteen women because he hated feminists. What kind of reason is that? It's ridiculous! There was something seriously wrong with that guy just to do it for that reason. I wouldn't be surprised if they make a movie of it in the future.

"You gotta be kinda envious of that guy's absolute freedom though. Rules and laws didn't apply to him—and all the others like him. Nobody could fucking touch him. Nobody at all. He just did what he wanted to do and nobody could stop him. I wish I could be like that, I wish I didn't care about the consequences…"

He let out a sharp sigh before shaking his head. "No, you know what? I don't really care about the consequences, and there was none with what that guy did. He killed himself. That's all the consequence for him that there was and is that really a consequence? It sounds like a plus to me. He didn't have to deal with the crap of the world and I wouldn't either if I killed myself."

Calvin looked up, leaning back on his hands. "But I'm not going to do that, because it seems… useless. Killing myself would make me dead and that's it. What's the point of that? It seems so stupid. Then again… a lot of things are stupid."

The blond shrugged indifferently, as if dismissing the subject. "You know what I hate? I mean, that could be a lot of things, but- I hate the fact that that guy up in Canada shot those women and not one guy did anything about it. No professors, no students. Nobody did a fucking thing. I hate that."

Calvin sneered. "Those fucking pussies. But this isn't about Canadians. This is about people and cowards. I mean- if something like that happened at my school- I like to think I'd be that guy that does something. I mean, anything. Anything but running away like a coward. But then that's just another stupid thing I like to think is true. Like I said- a lot of things are stupid."

Calvin got up, and the recording ended seconds later as he turned off the camera.

* * *

 **A/N- 11-12-2017.**

 **Ironic that Calvin talks critically of people who do not act courageously during a mass shooting, given who he is going to become and what he is going to do.**

 **The shooting that Calvin refers to actually happened. It is one of far too many times the right to bear arms has been so seriously abused, one of far too many times life has been taken for no justifiable reason.**

 **Calvin is now beginning to contemplate and take an interest in the idea of being a mass shooter. It makes him feel like he could be powerful, probably, as well as free of restrictions of any kind. This, too, he will not forget about. Calvin's interests are going somewhere, but it isn't somewhere good. Not for him, not for Andre, not for anyone.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22: January 30th, 2000**

* * *

 **January 30, 2000, 8:03PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This is the tenth chapter that I was going to rewrite completely. Now it's recovered in full, and as usual, only has some modifications and improvements that I made as differences from the original.**

* * *

Calvin turned on the camera and went back to sit down on his bed. He looked at the camera for ten seconds before he started talking.

"Tomorrow is the last day of the first month of January, 2000. It is officially a new decade as well as a new century. People are so awed over the fact it's a new century and I'm just like… what's the big deal?" Calvin asked the camera, wrapping his arms loosely around his legs. "It's another year; it's different from the last. The only thing different is the day and the year. Who cares? I don't.

"I'm just glad there's only about… four months until school is out for summer. Summer is freedom from assholes and wannabes. I like summer, I really do—well, I like summer more than I like any other season, which I guess isn't saying too much." Calvin gave a small laugh, rubbing at the back of his head.

"I'm kind of bored of talking about nothing. I'm just sitting here speaking about nonsense that I don't care about and I don't think any of you care about… maybe I should just stop speaking and making these videos. There's no real point in them, it just helps me feel a little bit better about myself; getting all these things… out.

"There are other things I want to get out too but… I can't say them. Can barely even bring myself to think of them they're so… horrible. At least in other people's eyes. But I see things differently than most people. You are all so… blinded by rules, even the ones who hate them, you still follow them. And for what? What's the point? I don't really see any point in doing what other people tell me to do.

"That all just depresses me even further. Screw the rules. I don't like them so I'm going to make my own starting now. And you'll all have to live with that."

Calvin stared at the floor of his room. "Fuck all of you. I'll see you in Hell soon enough, I think. Whatever. I'm making my own rules, like I said. You just wait. Just wait. You'll see."

The blond stood up and went over to the camera, and after a moment turned it off.

* * *

 **A/N: 11-13-2017.**

 **This story is almost done, very close to the end. But Calvin's, as we know, has some time left to go. Not a lot, not in the big scheme of things. But some. This was another especially interesting chapter to me, back when I first read this story. It's the one where Calvin starts seriously talking of rejecting the world and everyone in it- everyone except Andre, his best and really his only friend.**


	23. Chapter 23- March 15th, 2000

**Chapter 23: March 15th, 2000**

* * *

 **March 15, 2000, 8:29PM**

* * *

 **A/N: This is the eleventh chapter that was to have zero content from the original. 11 out of 24 were lost completely when the original story was deleted; I knew nothing about what they originally contained for the past 10 months. 13 out of 24 were recovered to varying degrees, and apart from some written content and dialogue I was able to re-use in the replacement chapters, an absolutely vital detail I saved from the old story was the date and even the time for the setting of the original chapters. Of course, those efforts have proved unnecessary now that I have the original story document with me again. This is the second-to-last chapter of the story.**

* * *

Calvin turned on the camera and walked back to his bed, sitting down, as if the effort of doing that had exhausted him.

"I'm tired," Calvin began, his voice barely above a mumble as he buried his head into his legs, yawning. "Like… really tired. Not just physically either, but mentally, emotionally… I'm just tired. I feel like sleeping but lately I've just not been able to fall asleep. My parents are worried about me, but there's really not much that I can tell them. Is this how insomniacs feel? I'd hate to be this tired all of the time and they get even less sleep than I do.

"I took a small nap earlier," he continued, resting his head on his hands. "But it wasn't even two hours. Barely even an hour actually and it did shit for me. I haven't even been able to concentrate on my homework lately. I've no clue what's wrong with me and it's been like this for the last two fucking weeks. Even Andre is starting to get worried and he gets worried over nothing.

"Hopefully I'll get over it soon. It started out of nowhere so maybe it'll stop out of nowhere as well. Be great to actually get some good sleep for once but I'm not going to hold my breath and pray cause I'd probably die if I did. Well… maybe I should actually… ha, right, as if that would work. I wish."

Calvin let out another long yawn before pushing some stuff off of his bed. "Okay, screw this. I'm fucking exhausted so I'm going to bed. I don't even know why I made one of these tonight." He shuts the camera off.

* * *

 **A/N: 11-14-2017.**

 **There we are. Almost done with this story. The best chapter of all has been saved for last.**


	24. Chapter 24- April 22nd, 2000

**Chapter 24: April 22nd, 2000**

* * *

 **April 22, 2000, 9:07PM**

* * *

 **A/N: And here we go… the beginning of Zero Day. Even though the description- which is verbatim from the original- says this story goes until May 1, 2001, it actually stopped on April 22, 2000 and I have chosen to be faithful to that original stopping point. The original author at first intended to write this story up to May 1, 2001, but evidently changed their mind and just never changed the story description. With the original story gone and the author having apparently abandoned their account on this website, it is a mystery I doubt will ever be solved. But that's okay. The story's back now and that's what matters.**

 **This story was the most intimidating of all the RS stories to do. When I first sat down and decided I would be rewriting 8 superb Zero Day stories after learning they were gone in December 2016, I despaired of ever being able to recreate the spirit, the greatness, the insightfulness of "Calvin's Video Diaries". The original author wrote that story like they knew Calvin Gabriel personally. It was stunning. The story also used a descriptive style I am not used to writing in and had never used before, further intimidating me. But as you can see, nevertheless, I persisted. It helped me a great deal that on 10-28-2017, I found I had managed to save an original copy of the story after all, which made completion of the story by December 2017 a reality. Without any further ado, the end of "RS7- Calvin's Video Diaries", and the beginning of** _ **Zero Day**_ **.**

* * *

"For once, I actually have a lot to say." Calvin began almost as soon as he turned on the camera, looking as if he was trying to hold back a smile. "There are so many things to say but… I'm not sure where I should begin. I guess I should begin on… I think it was April 7th—it's the 22nd now—and Andre and I had been having a conversation."

"It was all hypothetical, we were talking crap about Tielson—our school—and how it's the perfect fucking setting for one of those school shootings. It's in a nice little town and full with morons who think they run the place and we said we wouldn't be surprised if some kid grabbed his dad's gun and went and shot everybody." Calvin gave a small laugh.

"But then we got to talking and we just started talking about how we would be smarter than that kid and how it takes time to perfect something like that and actually be able to carry it through, you know. Well, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it despite the fact it was just a joke we were talking about and I ended up grabbing a map of the school that they have in the library and I just… drew things down on it."

"I guess in my mind it's become non-hypothetical. I really don't think it's a joke anymore. I want… I want to do it and this part of me gets excited at the thought of it, but another part of me is still nervous because… I know I can't do it, not without Andre. I can't… I just couldn't, but I wasn't exactly sure if Andre would actually be up for doing it. I wasn't sure what to do about this. And then… something amazing happened today."

"So we were just talking and hanging out in the basement of his house and he brought up that hypothetical conversation that's turning into a non-hypothetical thought for me and he started talking about all these ideas that were just popping into his mind such as making pipe bombs and recording the process of doing all this and we started hatching a plan right there in the basement of his house while his parents were upstairs doing whatever it was that they were doing."

"It's not hypothetical anymore, I can feel it. Both of us have decided that this is what we're going to do. We're going to do this and get back at those motherfuckers by putting bullets in their fucking skulls and… I've never felt more alive than I do right now. Never. It feels so good to finally standing up to these assholes and they don't even know it. That's the best part. They don't even know that these two 'kids' they push around are going to get as even with them as anybody could."

"I want to do this at every school, in every town we possibly can. Wouldn't that be amazing? We would like… we would be fucking heroes; getting revenge for the underdog, for ourselves and everyone like us and it would be so brilliant. I don't… I don't know why we haven't seriously thought about this before but… no harm done, because we're doing it."

Calvin stared into the camera's lens. "We're going to fucking do it and nobody will know until that day… they'll see kids running out of the school in fear of us and they'll hear the list of the dead, the injured and then us… our names will be plastered all over the TV, the internet, newspapers and its going to be fucking glorious. I can't wait… Andre and I will be gods."

* * *

 **A/N: 11-15-2017.**

 **This is it, the end of the story. Soon, Calvin will begin recording videos together with Andre, and they will work together to do that until their deaths in May, 2001. Calvin has reached the decision about what he is going to do with his life. He won't be turning back from this. He was wondering before, debating, trying to figure out what he was going to do. Now he knows.**

 **Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold never recorded what conversation they had that started the chain of events that led to the shooting at their high school. My best guess, and presumably that of the original author of this story, is that the first talk where they started to think of actually carrying out a school shooting went something like this one Calvin recalls between himself and Andre.**

 **Below is every single word I was able to recover for Chapter 24 from the original story.  
**

* * *

 **A/N: And here we go... the beginning of Zero Day. (and on a slightly unrelated but also related note, I just finished reading "No Easy Answers:**The Truth Behind Death at Columbine" by Brooks Brown,**who had been a friend of Dylan and** _ **Eric**_ **and whom** _ **Eric**_ **had threatened to kill in ...**

 _ **Calvin**_ **began almost as soon as he turned on the camera, looking as if he**was trying to hold back a smile.**

" **For once, I actually have a lot to say.**

 **"We're going to fucking do it and nobody will** _ **know**_ **until that day…**

 **if some kid grabbed his dad's gun and went and** _ **shot**_ **everybody.**

 **I know I** _ **can't**_ **do it, not without Andre. I** _ **can't**_ **… I just couldn't, but I wasn't exactly sure if Andre would actually be up for doing it. And then…**

 **We would like… we would be fucking heroes; getting** _ **revenge**_ **for the ...**

 **I know I should have kept** _ **myself**_ **in control but you can only do that so many times… "It won't happen again though, I just… had to release that**anger I guess.**

 **thought for me and he started talking about all these** _ **ideas**_ **that were ...**

 **I think it was April 7th—it's the 22nd now—and Andre and I** _ **had**_ **been**

 _ **Calvin**_ **gave a small laugh. "But then we got to** _ **talking**_ **and we just started** _ **talking**_ **about how we would be smarter than that kid and how it takes**time to perfect something like that and carry it through, you know.**

 **"It was all hypothetical,** _ **we**_ **were** _ **talking**_ **crap about Tielson—our school—and how it's the perfect fucking setting for one of those school**shootings.**

 **about it despite the fact it was just a** _ **joke**_ **we were talking about and I**ended** _ **up**_ **grabbing a map of the school that**

 **I want to do it and this part of me**gets excited at the thought but** _ **another**_ **part of me is still nervous because… ... the process of doing all this and we started hatching a** _ **plan**_ **right there in ...**

 **and they'll hear the list of the** _ **dead**_ **, the injured and then us… our names ...**

 **"I guess in my** _ **mind**_ **it's become non-hypothetical. I want ...**

 **were just popping into his mind such as making pipe bombs and** _ **recording**_ **the process ...**

 **I've never felt more alive than I do right now.**

* * *

 **A/N: It amazes me that this movie came out 14 years ago. Had _Zero Day_ been real, it would have been nearly a decade and a half in the past at this point. The April 20, 1999 massacre at Columbine High School in Colorado was 18 years ago. America has changed and the world has changed; the K-12 school system that Eric and Dylan and the fictional, yet somehow very real, Andre and Calvin grew up in would be virtually unrecognizable to them today. And yet the problems facing American schools and society in those days still exist now. In my view, they do.**

 **Zero Day was a fictional event, but it is nonetheless very real and relevant. Do not fool yourself; Columbine and its effects are still with us today. The people who lived through that event or were affected by it will carry it with them for the rest of their lives. School shootings happened before 1999 and 2001, during those years, and they have happened since. I don't have any more answers than anyone else does. But personally, I find modern America's affinity for "4/20", "National Weed Day", quite offensive. I have no personal connection to Columbine, but think about it. Not one person who was affected by what happened there on April 20, 1999 will ever be able to associate that day with anything so trivial and stupid as an unofficial holiday celebrating America's obsession with weed. Out of respect for those people, and for the lives lost at Columbine, I refuse to recognize April 20** **th** **as anything other than a day of solemn remembrance. I doubt I will ever change that position.**

 **At any rate, Zero Day gives us plenty to think about. A great deal, in fact. If there's one thing I've become convinced of in my own research on this subject, it's that only rarely do school shooters match up with the "Hell-spawned, born-to-kill" demon that a lot of the public want to believe in. Most of the time, they were- emphasis were- ordinary kids at the beginning and became something else over time. Calvin Gabriel is meant as a fictional parallel to Dylan Klebold, who absolutely did become someone else over time. The scariest part about this, as Brooks Brown pointed out, is just that- the next Calvin or Dylan could be your neighbor, your cousin, one of your own friends. Very few people just decide one day that murder-suicide is the thing for them. It is a process, as this film shows us. This story aimed, I believe, to demonstrate the same thing.**

 **Two books I'd like to recommend for anyone interested in learning more about all this:**

 _ **-No Easy Answers: The Truth Behind Death at Columbine**_ **(2002) by Brooks Brown & Rob Merritt**

 _ **-A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy**_ **(2017) by Susan Klebold**

 **I would also recommend reading "I Will Never Know Why," an essay written and released by Mrs. Susan Klebold a few years ago. It was, I imagine, the beginning of the process of her writing her book. Had the events of May 1, 2001 in this movie actually happened, I imagine that Mrs. Gabriel would have one day written something similar, and perhaps written a similar book as well.**

 **Never forget that even some unbelievably terrible people were once decent humans. The Nazis could never have found enough people to staff the death camps otherwise. Timothy McVeigh was once a truly outstanding soldier. And Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, as well as Andre Kriegman and Cal Gabriel, were once decent people. That is, as I said, quite hard for most people to accept or believe. They want to think that these people are monsters, spawned from some place of evil and completely alien to society. Sometimes they are. But just as often, and probably most often, they are not so alien as that. It is frightening to imagine the kid next door to you, a classmate or even a friend, could one day do something evil, especially as the final act of his life. But it happens.**

 **I have no answers to any of it, and certainly I doubt they could be found in the author's notes of a fanfiction story. I hope one day answers can be found. I hope the dead at places like Columbine can always be remembered, but most of all I hope that one day there won't be any more killings like that for us to remember.**

 **If you liked this story, if you found it interesting, please leave as detailed a review as you like. Post reviews for as many chapters as you like. I welcome all feedback. I believe, as I have said before, that the point of "Zero Day" was to make us think. I believe that was Ben Coccio's goal. And in this story, in all of my stories for this film, I have worked to do just that. I am glad to have finally completed the Restoration Series, which is by far the most extensive and ambitious work I have ever undertaken on this site. I hope the restored stories will be as thought-provoking for readers as they were for me, back when I first read them in 2011.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or will review this story. I appreciate it.**


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